Liar liar pants on fire
Honesty is everything. When it comes to dating or being in a relationship, being honest can either be an incredible foundation pillar for a healthy, loving relationship or the lack of honesty can destroy a relationship from the get-go. The fact of the matter is, telling the truth is easy despite on whether you feel that things are hard to say at times. If you or someone that you’re dating is dishonest, if they keep you in the dark, or frequently lie to you or vice versa, your relationship will be over, before it even begins.
If you’re already in a relationship with someone and they’ve been lying to you or perhaps if you’ve been lying to them, that relationship will deteriorate and won’t be healthy or happy by any means. When people lie, it catches up to them whether by karma, by their partner finding out and getting hurt, or even by the lies and dishonesty being the ultimate reason of what could destroy a relationship. Being honest and open book are essential for a truly happy and healthy relationship. I decided to create a list of 10 things that happen to a liar when they lie.
Here’s the list:
1. They don’t trust
The liar starts to think that others are the liars. They get so used to their mentality and way of thinking that they feel that others are doing the same thing to them. They themselves are trustworthy and they know it, but they’ll rarely if ever admit that to be true. They stop trusting others, because they know that they are untrustworthy, and others might be as well. Many times still project their feelings of the fact that they are not trustworthy onto their partners because they know what people are capable of and to the extent that one can lie and cheat.
2. They’ll keep you in the dark
Many times, people that lie view keeping you in the dark and not telling you certain things as a way of preventing lies. Unfortunately, they’re delusional in this particular way of thinking, because keeping someone in the dark is the same thing as lying. Um, hello shady much?
3. They won’t change
If they don’t want to step to pattern of lying, nothing will ever change, and the lies will continue and progress into a more extreme case of compulsive lying. Despite if they get caught lying, cheating, or even if they say they’re going to change, they’ll continue lying until they truly and deeply want to improve themselves.
4. Lying becomes a habit
If you do anything in life often enough, you’ll get used to it, and it can turn into a habit. This can actually be a really good thing when it’s something positive and for the better. However, when someone lies or worse, when someone compulsively lies, they do it more and more, and they’ll start to lack feelings of guilt or remorse when their problem isn’t addressed.
5. They feel no guilt or remorse
If someone lies enough, the start to develop a sense of comfort in their lies. It will become like second nature to them, as if it’s simply the norm. Even if they get that feeling of guilt early on while dating, over time, that feeling of guilt dissipates. They’ll lack guilt over time, and might even lack remorse if and when they get caught. Even people that lie and cheat get caught, they might temporarily feel guilty, but it might not change anything if that guilt wasn’t intense enough.
6. They’ll break up with you
They might end the relationship themselves if they feel that someone is prying or digging into their lies or something that they know they won’t be able to get out of. They might even distort the truth in their own minds so that you’re made out to be the bad guy for calling them out on their lies. Many times, liars are actually the ones that end relationships. You might think that the main reason for them ending relationships at times is to avoid drama and confrontation. But, one of the main reasons is also because they know that they’ve done wrong, and they feel ashamed. Many times, people with big egos have a hard time dealing with shame or making mistakes. You see, in a liar’s mind, breaking up with someone that they lied to is like taking the easy way out, and well, who needs all of that drama anyway, right? Um, no. Wrong. Very, very wrong. But they’ll do it anyway.
7. They’ll view the size of the lie as what’s really important
A lie is a lie period. Despite the size of it. A fib is a lie, and so is keeping someone in the dark. Many times a little fib can turn into a lie, which could become a bigger lie, and eventually, it could even be the reason for the dissolution of a relationship or marriage.
8. They miss out on true love
When someone truly values you and wants you in their life, they’ll stop at nothing in order to attain and maintain your love and your trust. If someone is willing to risk losing you, hurting you, or letting you down, then they don’t deserve to have you as their love, their partner, or even someone in your surrounding circles of friends. Many times, people miss out on something that “could’ve been” something so beautiful by their actions of deceit.
9. They lose their partner’s trust
When someone gets lied to enough, they’ll start to become skeptical, develop a lack of trust in their partner or others, and they might even become paranoid. Lying to someone will many times cause more pain to the liar themselves, even if it’s not from guilt, but from the loss of someone’s trust, or maybe even the loss of the relationship (or marriage). Being lied to in relationships can cause a tremendous amount of damage. It’s a very self destructive act. When a man or a woman tend to lie a lot, they lose their partner’s trust, their word means nothing, and their relationship will most likely suffer as a result.
10. They feel guilty
Like I said before, many times people that lie often will develop a numbness so to speak as far as guilt goes. But for many others, feeling guilt can be truly painful. This especially goes for if you care about someone. Sometimes feeling guilty can eat people up inside, and although they might lie to you, keep you in the dark, and avoid confessing the truth about certain things, they may implode until at some point they’ll explode and it could wind up becoming a much bigger issue than it might’ve started out as.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- When People Treat You Like One of Many, Instead of One in a Million - September 20, 2017
- When They Say That It’s About the Person, Not the Place – They’re Right - September 18, 2017
- The Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating 2017-2018 - September 9, 2017