It doesn’t take much to make a good first impression on someone. Making a good first impression usually involves nothing more than a bit of effort, being as authentic as possible, and a little love. Today I wanted to focus on what it takes to put your best foot forward on a date. But I ‘d like to do so by expanding on those very three things. You see, it’s easy to just show up and not give a hoot. And it’s easy to act as if you’re God’s gift, and as if supposing they don’t like you, they can as my grandmother wouldn’t say, bite the bologna. But that’s not making a good impression, and definitely not how to increase your chances of finding and keeping “the one.”
The 3 Things It Takes to Make a Good First Impression on a Date
1. Effort Costs Nothing
Effort is free, folks. Don’t just show up. Act like you care. No, no, no. Don’t act like you care, you should care! Give a damn how you present yourself, how you look, smell, and act. If everything works out with this person, you’ll look back on these first few dates, so put a little effort into them, make your date feel special, and be the best version of yourself.
Try to avoid prying, and especially without an apology first. Don’t be rude, cocky, or say shocking and inappropriate things. Don’t be too forward or aggressive, and definitely, not too early on, before you know someone and their comfort level. Good things take time, effort, and love. Which is why you should be willing to breathe and pace yourself during early dating when it comes to naughty talk and what could follow.
Repeat after me…
I am a unique and beautiful person… Repeat, I am a unique and beautiful person. I’m beautiful inside and out. And I will act humble, even if I struggle with LA narcissism and need to work on toning it down a notch and not blurting out a bunch of hubris statements. I will act like a lady (or a gentleman), be kind, courteous, well mannered, respectful, and have an open heart as well as an open mind when I go on this date. I will do everything in my power to put my best foot forward. I will not be insecure or self-destructive. I will appreciate the good, acknowledge, the bad, and give this person a genuine chance if I feel that it’s promising.
I will make an effort. I will work on developing great communication from the get-go by learning when to talk and when to listen, and I will be kind by holding back on my natural inclination to judge without full knowledge. I won’t label him (or her) before I even know them, let alone marker them up and down with bright red flags for things that shouldn’t be red flags at all. But rather, things that I should be willing to compromise on. Which brings me to the fact that I should know what I want, what I don’t want, what works for me, and what doesn’t in a relationship.
Remember, no one is perfect, not you and not your date. Therefore, don’t expect perfection of your date or of your lovely self. Having said that, you should know what you’re willing to compromise on. And that shouldn’t include changing your core values, beliefs, appearance, or changing what you want in life. And definitely not for the mere reason or satisfaction of pleasing someone else or quote-unquote making things work. Yes, I wrote that out.
2. Be Authentic but Kind
It’s imperative to be authentic and to be the real you. But first, I’d just like to point out this one tiny little ingredient that’s an absolute must when you go out with someone new. Keeping it real is not the same as being authentic. In other words, don’t be a stubborn, arrogant jerk who lacks chivalry and says that he’s “keepin it real” and don’t be a little stuck up, unappreciative princess brat who’s completely harsh and judgmental, and has unreasonable expectations—Um, and vice versa.
Be polite, considerate, act like you give a damn, and treat each person as an individual. There’s no need to pick someone up or show up to a place with an all deserving attitude. Don’t go around thinking that the world, the waiter, and your date somehow owe you something. And Heaven forbid, that anyone needs to make up for your issues and loaded baggage of disappointments for your last hundred dates that didn’t go your way.
3. Love and Warmth
There are many ways to show your love. being genuinely sweet, thoughtful, selfless, nurturing, and affectionate are a few great ways to show that you’re a warm-hearted and caring individual. Another way of being warm and showing your love is by showing acceptance. When we act too harshly, it shows the lack of better judgment, bad character, and sometimes, the lack of being a kind and decent person.
Just because we may not agree with the way that someone acts or thinks, doesn’t give us the right to be cruel, rude, or insensitive. So what if we want different things or don’t see ourselves with someone who says or does this and that. As long as we react in a kind and decent manner, rather than make someone feel bad, undesired or as if they’re not going to find what they want in life or in a partner simply because we want different things. We are not here to judge others for wanting different things or feeling differently about some things.
The point of dating is, to find out how compatible you are together and whether or not you’re the best possible match for one another. Things should flow to a certain extent, be easy going, and you should feel happy during early dating. You shouldn’t be bickering or argue over silly little things or even big issues like wanting different things ultimately or what pace and timeframe are best.
You’re either able to compromise with love and kindness or not. You either fit together like the perfect puzzle pieces or you don’t. But you shouldn’t have to pressure someone or force something to work if it’s not naturally working. Especially early on. Remember, this is the dating period, so being on the same page and ultimately wanting the same things are essential. You should know when to compromise and be willing to improve on things with someone and when you’re forcing it to work.