5 Reasons You Should Ignore Your Ex

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Every situation is different, so you need to use your logic a bit when it comes to ignoring your ex. If it’s an ex where you have kids together or have certain business matters you need to address, that’s different, and by all means, address those matters and communicate as much as needed. But in many cases, people have exes and they’re merely ex-dates, ex one date wonders, hookups, ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, or just random admirers who you might’ve foolishly given your number to once upon a time, wishing you hadn’t. There are many types of exes, and some of them must be ignored so you can focus on people, things, and even yourself, as well as maintain your happiness, and perhaps even your sanity at times. In this article, I wanted to dive into a bit about why you should ignore your ex, and how it just might make you a lot happier. 


I recently heard someone say that they feel happiness in life shouldn’t be the goal. Hmm, I couldn’t possibly disagree more. Happiness should most definitely be the goal for you, your loved ones, and for all people in general. We should strive to be happier and do whatever we can to get to a place where despite our ups and downs in our day to day lives, we stay optimistic for the most part, continue on a motivated path, see the good in situations, and appreciate what we have in life. Having said that, sometimes there are things that take away from our happiness. Sometimes those things are out of our hands and we simply have to deal with them in the best way we know how. And although experiencing happiness is a temporary feeling, we should still try to do positive things in life that will make us smile, laugh, and that will make us feel more alive. 


Here Are 5 Reasons Why You Should Ignore Your Ex


1. You Deserve to Be Happy.


Know your worth. You matter, your happiness matters, and when something is upsetting you, it will affect those around you even though it might be unintentional. Many times, we waste our time, other people’s time, and many moments that could be truly beautiful by engaging in things including conversations when we shouldn’t. 
Many times we should know better, we know the outcome, and we know just what might go down if we communicate with certain people, especially when they’re toxic to us. Eliminate toxic people from your life. That includes friends, family, and all exes who are bringing you down in any way. Know your worth and don’t forget it for one second. You deserve to be happy and you shouldn’t let anyone take away from your happiness.


Many times people will suspect that you’re doing well and even if it’s on some subconscious level, they might bring you down seeing how you’re thriving and feeling good. Maybe they see that you’re looking even better now that they’re not a part of your life or maybe they see you’ve met someone new, and now they want you back. 
Well folks, first of all, you’re probably looking better than you were when you dated them or when you were in a relationship with them because you feel better inside and out and because you don’t have them in your life. And as far as when someone sees that you’re happy and suddenly pops up and wants back into your life, just tell yourself, Um, no thanks, and keep that door closed. Some doors are meant to be kept closed and even locked.


When someone doesn’t appreciate you when they have you, and only when they have to lose you before realizing how great you are, don’t waste your time. You deserve to be loved and appreciated the first time around. Not everyone deserves a second chance. Hey, most people don’t deserve a second, third, or Heaven forbid, many chances. However, there are some occasions where people deserve another shot, but that’s your call and again, it depends on the person and the situation. But if you know that someone is completely toxic for you, don’t let them back into your life. Love yourself enough to say no or ignore.


2. You Met Someone New. 


Every promising situation deserves a few things. For starters, they deserve a clean slate, they deserve to be with a person who is ready, and someone who doesn’t bring in baggage or at the very least, who brings minimal baggage into new situations. Yes, yes, I know, we shouldn’t be bringing in any baggage, but this is the real world, and we all have a certain amount of history and baggage. Sometimes, our baggage is not even in our hands, but hey, find someone who won’t see your baggage as very heavy.


In addition, when you meet someone new, you want to focus on that person and on getting to know them. It will make things super-complicated if you start bringing an ex or anyone toxic around, even in conversation It’s always better to minimize ex-talk in my humble opinion. A little talking about the past is O.K. but when it happens too early on or way too much, it can bring in unnecessary negative energy.


Your past is dead and gone, and you and this new special someone deserve to have a beautiful clean slate to build what could be something truly meaningful. Focus on today, enjoy the moment, embrace it, and create brand new experiences with this person, and make new memories. As much as you can, leave the past in the past. And although it’s true that much of our past has made us who we are today, we don’t need our ex-dates and what not to mess up our possible future with someone who could be our future.


3. It’s Having a Negative Impact on Your Life.


Again, remove toxic people from your life by ignoring them. If someone wants close and you feel that they deserve it, give it to them. Not everyone deserves closer though, especially if their intentions weren’t pure. As well, if you know in your heart that you already gave someone closer, don’t let them suck you back in by manipulating you into thinking that they just need closure or to talk with you one more time. Life doesn’t always give us what we want and if someone as hurt you in any way, don’t sweep things under the rug or let anyone make you feel guilty for their possibly late remorse or regret. We should all be handled with care the first time around.


If someone is having a bad effect on you, your emotions, your mind, or your health, don’t look back, and definitely ignore them. Block them if you must, but don’t let them bring you down a path that you don’t intend on staying on, especially if it’s having a bad effect in your life in any manner. Your health and happiness should be a priority, and that doesn’t mean that you should respond to an ex when you’re free either. It merely means that you need to care about the choices that you make in life, and once you say you’re done with a negative situation or relationship, you should mean it, and not look back. Look towards your future, and focus on your goals and on things that will bring about more happiness, not less. 
There are times when it’s imperative to be extreme and end all contact, and especially when they’re bringing you down.


4. You Break up and Make up a Lot.


When couples break up and make up a lot, and you know what I’m referring to if you’ve experienced this, then you should end the toxic cycle. No one deserves to be with someone who will bounce in and out of their life, going back and forth all of the time. Back and forth, breakup-makeup relationships kill any amount of normal security and stability which couples deserve. It’s never O.K. to be indecisive about your feelings and especially for too long or to be so incredibly immature that you can’t make up your mind, don’t know what you want, or perhaps can’t commit to something or someone with stability.


One break up is hard enough, so be good to yourself by saying no and ignoring the next time they want you back. Ask yourself when enough is enough, and stop the pattern of back and forth before it completely destroys you. Don’t let someone who can’t make up their mind have so much control over your happiness, and you know damn well that it will. Back and forth relationships will deteriorate your self-esteem, your chances of having something new, as well as take away from any enthusiasm and happiness that might remain after your unfortunate roller coaster ride with that person.


5. It Serves You No Benefit.


When things bring you down in life, kill your enthusiasm, your motivation, and your inspiration, they’re not good for you. Focus on what’s good, appreciate what you have when you have it, and go after your goals and the things you want and know you deserve in life. Many people will distract you or take away from the passion you feel towards positive things, and they’ll drain your energy, your drive, and your enthusiasm. Don’t let them. No one deserves to feel as though they’re running on empty when they should predominantly feel optimistic and full of life.


You’re in control of your choices, so don’t choose wrong and have to deal with unfortunate consequences of doing something that you’ll regret by giving your time, love, effort, or focus to an ex who will likely kill your inspiration and hold you back. You shouldn’t pay attention to anyone who takes away from you going after your goals or from you pushing forward towards where you hope to be. This includes having someone in your life who’s selfish, over the top consuming when they’re no longer your partner, or when they don’t give you any emotional support whatsoever as you should mutually give to one another when you’re in a relationship. Let them go, let them leave, look ahead of you, and don’t look back. No good can come from someone who doesn’t understand or support you in improving your life and conquering your goals.

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Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at ACW (Anne Cohen Writes)
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and ACW (Anne Cohen Writes). She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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