You’d think that when you’re in a new relationship, nothing is going to change, and you’re merely adding someone to the clan. But think again, because not only are you adding a partner into your life, but you’re adding another person that is going to have different wants, needs, and opinions on things. Therefore, there are a lot of things that I’d highly recommend changing, so that your new relationship can go smoothly. This is why I wanted to create a list of five things that you should stop doing when you’re in a new relationship.
1. Stop Communicating with Exes
You have a new partner in your life, a new love interest, and someone that’s going to consume your time, and fill up that empty space in your life. There shouldn’t be a reason to connect with someone from your past, unless there are children involved. When people that you used to date contact you in anyway, whether it’s on the telephone, chat messages, emails, or even text messages, you should either send one simple text letting them know that you’re in a new relationship, and that you’re not comfortable communicating further, or you should simply ignore them altogether. Not only is it inappropriate to communicate with exes, but it could potentially cause drama and damage to your new relationship. And let me tell you, it isn’t worth it.
2. Don’t Hold on to Sentimental Things from an Ex
I know this may sound extreme, but if you really think about it, it’s not. The more stuff that you’re going to hold onto in life, the more that you’re going to end up being a hoarder of things that have no relevance or importance in your future. A new relationship is like a new life. All of your memories you should keep in your mind, and unless something is truly sentimental and irreplaceable, you should consider throwing it out. The same goes for old photos, and little trinkets that you might’ve stashed away somewhere in a box. And if you’re one of those types of people that hates to throw out things of sentiment, then you should definitely put them in a box, but stash them far back in your closet somewhere out of reach.
The truth is, you’re going to create new memories, and have new experiences with your new love. The past is dead and gone, and the sooner that you start realizing that, the sooner that your new relationship will thrive. Many times, people hold onto so many of their memories from people that they’ve dated, and it ends up causing turbulence and discomfort to your partner. The last thing that any new relationship should have, are unnecessary problems that could’ve been avoided. And if you have a truly hard time letting go of certain memories from your past, there’s nothing wrong with holding on to a few of them, as long is you hide them away, and they’re not visible to you or your partner on a regular basis.
3. Don’t Talk About Exes
Like I said before, the past is dead and gone, and it’s time to start a new life and a new relationship. And the best way to start a new relationship, is by giving your new situation a blank, clean slate. When you talk about your exes too much, your partner is likely going to get uncomfortable, and they might even start questioning whether you’re comparing them to your ex.
As well, you should avoid talking about your exes, because your partner might think that you’re still hung up on them, not over them yet, and that you might possibly have unresolved issues or wounds that haven’t yet healed. As well, it’s always best not to bring up the past, because the past isn’t going to get you anywhere towards your future. And if anything, people that live in the past, are usually unable to live in the present and enjoy their lives to the fullest. Having said all of the above, for those couples that are both equally comfortable talking about their past relationships, then go ahead and do so.
4. Stop Being Selfish
Believe it or not, when we’re single, we’re usually thinking about ourself, our own needs, and our own wants. But when we’re in a new relationship, we need to be selfless in order to make things work. We need to start thinking about “we” instead of “me,” and “ours” instead of “mine.” Being selfless is essential is all relationships. In order to be the best partner that you can be, and in order to make your relationship thrive, you need to be giving, loving, and selfless whenever possible. When we’re single, we don’t have anyone else to consider or to think about when making decisions. But when you’re in a relationship, you need to take your partner’s feelings, opinions, wants, and needs into consideration as well.
5. Don’t Have Unrealistic or Unreasonable Expectations
We all want what we want in a partner and in a relationship. Having said that, we should never bring in a long list of unrealistic and unreasonable expectations. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, or exactly how you might like things to be in any situation. This is something that we all need to accept and come to terms with when getting into a new relationship. We need to accept the good and the bad in a person, as long as they’re willing to work on the bad. However, bringing in a long list of expectations of what you want and expect from your partner and your relationship can be completely harmful to your happiness as a couple.
When you’re in a relationship, concentrate on all of the things that your partner and your relationship has, instead of what they lack. Think of all of the good things, and focus on them, instead of what’s missing. But definitely, never have such high expectations that are impossible to meet, because then you and your partner will both end up miserable, and feel completely unsatisfied in your relationship.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- Relationship Goals – Why Couples Don’t Have to Agree on Everything - July 20, 2018
- The Appropriate Steps to Finding Your Partner - July 13, 2018
- Five Ways to Improve Happiness - July 6, 2018