50 Bad Dates? I Can Top That – Here’s Why Some People Go on a Lot of First Dates


When you’ve explored the dating scene for long enough, you might turn to different sources for meeting people. Dating sites are one of those sources. Not my favourite. But still, a way of meeting people. The problem with meeting people these days, is that many people are meeting someone who they met online. And despite the fact that meeting someone from an online dating site or app can be great, and despite that I do believe that you can meet your soulmate just about anywhere—even online, many of us end up going on many first dates.


And do you know what I think about people who go on a lot of first dates?


One of five things…


•They’re serial daters.

•They don’t know what they want.

•They’re too picky and are looking for perfection.

•They’re just looking for hookups, and not looking for anything too serious.

•They know what they want, but simply put, haven’t found him/her.


In this article, I want to talk mostly about the latter. The people who are looking for their soulmate, know what they want in a match, but haven’t found him/her… yet. This group of singles I’d like to say, are the majority of what you’ll find on dating sites and apps. But unfortunately, what you’ll find out once exploring online dating, is that, you will likely have to weed through the top four bullet points that I’ve listed above, and hope for the best—which would be finding someone like the fifth bullet point.


We all want to find our best possible match. Using online dating as a tool can be a great way to meet someone. Especially, if you’re the busy type who doesn’t get out much and doesn’t have very much of a social life. Having said that, finding your best possible match can be a struggle whether you’re looking online or anywhere. Therefore, it’s not really a big deal if you turn on a couple of dating apps or not, and it really couldn’t hurt, because at least you’re opening up your options. However, you need to know what you want or at least have an idea of what you desire to find in a match.


The biggest reason why I don’t judge people who say that they’ve gone on a lot of first dates, is for one reason alone—they still have hope. That is, when someone’s intentions are pure. 


Having hope can be so difficult in general, and especially when you’ve dated a lot, been hurt before, or gone on a lot of unsuccessful first dates. You can’t buy hope. Unfortunately. Having faith is something imperative, and just to believe and know that you will find your match, if don’t give up trying, looking, and keeping your chin up. Have faith in G-d, and know that He has a plan designed just for you. I personally love when I meet people who haven’t given up, despite their journey and how long it’s taken them to get to where they are in life. And despite any turmoil, turbulence, instability, hardship, and even when it comes to the duration of just how long they’ve been single or have had to go through some trial and error experiences in the dating scene.


Things in life don’t always happen when we want them to. And if only, we could demand to get what we want and right when we want it, right? But we can’t. So the next best thing, is not to give up, to keep our faith, and to believe that if we keep trying, looking, and putting ourselves out there, in time, we’ll find our match. Don’t stop believing in true love. It seems that it’s become a new thing these days and looked at as pretty cool, when someone says that they’re jaded. Don’t believe me? It’s trending on Twitter as we speak. Geez Louise, O.K., you don’t need to go and check! I’m trying to prove a point here.


Although these examples are quite possibly tweeted in jest and with humour, we’re all role models if you think about it, but especially those who are in the public eye. We’re setting an example that being jaded and having a dark side is sexy, and although part of me tends to think it is, I force myself not to fall into those types of thoughts, even when coming from beautiful actor/photographer Cole M. Sprouse.


It’s not cool to be jaded, and simply because you’ve been let down so much. Jaded is not sexy or appealing by any means. Don’t even say that you’re jaded outloud. You’ll start to believe it. Don’t lose hope. So what if it takes you a long time to find your match. And so damn what if others around you are finding true love and starting to live their life of happily ever after. You haven’t given up. If you’ve gone on over 50 first dates, or let’s just say many first dates, you still have faith, hope, and you’re still trying. Be patient. Don’t worry about the time table, how many dates you have to go on, or even why you’re not finding your match (yet). Just as being jaded isn’t sexy, neither is nervousness, insecurity, or anxiety. Be confident and just know that you’re on the right track if you haven’t given up.

 

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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