The 6 Foundation Pillars for a Happy and Healthy Relationship


In every healthy relationship, there should be a strong, and solid foundation. This foundation should be built on pillars of strength. These foundation pillars include, love, open and great communication, honesty, trust, effort, and treating your partner as a priority. When any of these foundation pillars are broken, your relationship is going to have issues. And unless those issues are resolved, you’re either going to be arguing and fighting nonstop, you’ll end up staying in an unhappy relationship, or your relationship will eventually come to an end. I wanted to elaborate a little bit about these foundation pillars and why they’re so important to have in relationships.


1. Love:


Love is what everything should be based on. Without love, you have an empty relationship that means nothing. Literally, nothing. The seemingly obvious question as of whether to marry or be with someone for “love or money,” is not only so incredibly obvious, but the truth is, it’s a trick question, because there is no question. You can only be with someone that you truly love if you actually want to feel happy in life. Money only provides temporary happiness and comfort. Some of the wealthiest people are the loneliest people in this world.


Everything that’s based out of love becomes beautiful. This is why when you look into another person’s eyes as you’re falling in love with them, you can actually see their eyes glow when they look at you, because you see their love. When a love is true, it exudes from your soul into your eyes, and anyone can easily detect it. A relationship without love isn’t worth having. When you have this foundation pillar, and you know that you love each other, you have everything in the world to fight for in order to make things work. They don’t say that “love can conquer all” for no reason. They say it because love truly does make everything in life worth living.


Everything that you do in your life and in your relationship should be out of a place of love. When you do things for your partner in life, but you do them with love, effort, and pure intentions, they will be done in the best possible manner. And even when you make love to your partner, it’s not about what you do or say in that moment or even to what extent how fun and exciting you might take things when intimate with your partner, as long as all of your actions and words are based out of love, it will be pure, and it will be heaven. Love should be what every happy relationship is based on.


2. Open and Great Communication:


Having open and wonderful communication is everything in a relationship. But without it, not only won’t your relationship thrive or be happy, but you’ll never feel satisfied or heard. Without this foundation pillar, your relationship won’t grow, and you definitely won’t grow as individuals. Part of growing in life is learning how to be the best version of yourself, and that’s something that happens throughout your life until the day that you leave this world.


You need to be willing to give a relationship you’re all, and to put it all out on the line. And part of that, is being able to communicate your feelings. Part of communication, but more than a part of it, a huge part of it, is that we need to learn how to be better listeners. But listening is only part of what great communication is all about. Another part of having great communication is being honest and an open book. You need to be able to share your thoughts and innermost feelings. And you should never feel that you have to hold back or hide things from your partner.


Your conversations should flow for the most part, and you should feel comfortable when communicating things to your partner. Having great communication means that you don’t judge one another for your past or even for the things that you say. But that you try to listen to one another instead. You should be able to know that you’ll both only judge one another when it’s absolutely necessary, and when it’s in a way that the other person will learn and grow from.
You should be able to communicate with your partner, call them out on their shit, and fully express yourselves when you have concerns, doubts, and whether you’re sharing good things or bad, you should be able to do so freely and openly without fear, caution, or as if you’re walking on eggshells. 


Last but not least, part of having great communication is understanding that heavy topics shouldn’t be discussed via text or email, but more so in person or coequal on the telephone. You should value and care for your relationship and your partner to the extent that you understand how imperative it is to be able to communicate with one another in the healthiest possible fashion.


3. Honesty:


Honesty is everything. But when you’re in a relationship that lacks complete and utter honesty, not only won’t you be able to build trust with your partner, but you might even end up feeling as if the glass is broken, and it might end up killing the love that you share. Nothing is more hurtful than when someone lies to their partner. And when people lie often, and yes, even those little white lies, it can cause such destruction to the couple’s happiness and faith in one another. It’s important to be honest from the get-go in relationships, because without honesty, all of the other foundation pillars are irrelevant and won’t matter. When there’s no honesty, everything else will come tumbling down in a negative way.


4. Trust:


Trust and honesty go hand-in-hand. When someone isn’t honest to you, you’re not going to be able to trust them. When the trust is gone, you have nothing. You have nothing to fight for, and there’s simply no point in staying in a relationship as such. You need to be able to trust one another equally, fully, and completely. When couples bring in issues from their past of lacking trust, because someone had lied to them or if they’d been cheated on, it will negatively impact your relationship. As well, if you tend to white lie, frequently tell lies, or coequal if you have unresolved trust issues, you need to fix them before getting into a relationship, otherwise you’ll never be happy and your relationship or partner definitely won’t be either. You not only need to be able to trust one another, but you should also be able to trust and feel secure in knowing that your partner will always have your back.


5. Effort:


I’ve written many articles expressing how effort costs nothing, and that it’s free and easy. I’ve written so many articles on this matter, because it’s one of the basic and most important foundation pillars of having a solid and strong foundation in a relationship. You should put effort into everything that you do in life. Whether it be in work, in business, in raising your children, in your relationships, and even in the sweet gestures that you do. When you put effort into things, it will be obvious and apparent. When you put effort into things, it will create the most amazing love and appreciation for one another, and it will definitely help to make your relationship flourish and thrive. Lacking effort will leave you or your partner feeling inadequate, and as if something is missing.


6. Treating Each Other as a Priority


Everything that’s important to you in life should be treated as a priority. Everyone and everything that’s important to you should be treated in the best possible manner. If you value, love, and care for a person, you should treat them in such a way. “Not having enough time” is never an excuse. You need to “make the time” for everything that’s important to you. If someone isn’t making the time for you, then they don’t value you as a person, and they’re definitely not making you a priority in their life. When someone truly and utterly loves you, they’ll treat you as a priority, they’ll put you first, make you feel special and important, and they’ll make the time for you.

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Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.
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