Are You Afraid to Fall in Love?


So you’re finally on the market again and ready to date. There’s only one problem—you feel scared. What are you scared of? Well, you might be scared of getting hurt again. You might be scared of falling in love with someone and having it end in another heartache. And you might be scared of developing feelings for someone and then things eventually not working out, leaving you in pain. Or you might even be scared of finally having everything that you’ve dreamed of, and you feel afraid because you just don’t want to mess it up.


What’s important to realize is that being scared is going to put a pause on you going forward with someone. You can’t fall in love when you’re scared. Not really, at least. You can start to develop feelings for someone, but it won’t get very far when you’re scared. Having said that, with time your heart may open up more and more, and your fears may dissipate. But, who knows how long that will take! I wrote this article for people who are afraid or know someone who’s afraid to fall in love and risk getting hurt.


Everyone has had a broken heart at some point in time. When you start dating with hopes to go into a new relationship, you need to have an open heart. As well as having an open heart, you also don’t want to bring in any baggage from your previous relationships. It’s important to have an open heart so that you can fall in love again. If your heart’s not open, there’s no chance of you falling in love.


Many of us have been hurt from previous relationships, and despite the fact that we may give ourselves enough time to heal from them, sometimes, there are still traces of residual pain and heartache. When we’ve been hurt before or still have some pain in our hearts, despite having had time to heal, it can make us scared to let anyone in again emotionally. When you’re scared, a relationship has no chance of going anywhere, because you’re not letting anyone see the real you or get too close to you. And essentially, what people are going to fall in love with is the real you. So you have to let them see who you really are and what you’re really all about. To get to know someone, you have to let them get to know you on a deeper level, and that’s only possible when you let down your guard and open your heart fully.


I don’t believe in going into new situations with a guard or an emotional wall up to protect you. Being cautious doesn’t mean that you should build an emotional protective wall. It means keeping your eyes open for any signs of a person not having mutual feelings. It’s important to be on same page as the other person, and to make sure that they’re developing feelings for you as well.


The truth is, there’s only one way to go about dating someone new and starting a new relationship. You have to go into each new situation with an open heart, but also with caution. The keyword here is caution. You need to teach yourself not to be scared, but to be cautious instead. When you’re cautious, you’re aware that the relationship could take a bad turn and end up in a break up. When you’re cautious, you realize that your heart must be open, but that there are no guarantees that things will work out. It’s never good to be paranoid that things won’t work out in a new relationship. But, being cautious is a way of protecting yourself just enough so that you won’t experience too much pain, if things don’t work out. In order to fall in love, you have to risk getting hurt. You have to risk going through some pain and heartache if it doesn’t work out.


When dating someone new or starting a new relationship, you should always try to be optimistic and have a positive outlook. You should try to be a glass is half full type of person. You should be happy and excited about exploring a situation with someone new. A new relationship has all of the promise to become everything that you’re looking for. You just have to give it a real chance. To give it a real chance, you have to have an open heart. 


Go at a pace that’s comfortable for you, where you see that the other person is a really good match, and where you can see that they feel the same way about you. You should feel as if you’re on the same page and mutually developing feelings for one another. To those people who have found that special someone and are hoping to start something new with them, remember that you should have a blank, clean slate, and that you should go into every new situation cautiously, but with an open heart.


When people are too afraid of going after what they want in life, it usually holds them back. We should never be afraid to go after what we want, and that includes our desire to love and to be loved. We all deserve to feel loved. We all deserve to feel loved to the greatest and most passionate extent. But when we’re not ready or simply not open to embracing someone’s love and letting them truly get to know us on a deeper level, it will be impossible to happen.


We’ve all been hurt before. But, if you really want to fall in love, you need to be emotionally ready by opening up your heart and by risking getting hurt. Remember, being cautious is very different than being afraid. There’s no need to jump right in. You can slowly dip your feet in and take your time, by going at a pace that’s comfortable for you. Let things progress at a level where you feel safe. In time, things will naturally tend to speed up. Having said that, no one should ever pressure you to go faster in any way than you’re comfortable with. And when it comes to developing feelings, you can’t make someone feel something that they don’t or to feel things faster than what comes natural for them.


Last but not least, recognize when you have an emotional wall up, and tear it down. This is something that we all have the power to control. We have the power to take down walls that we build. We can take them down just as fast as we can build them. So take it down, let go, and risk getting hurt, so you’ll be able to feel and embrace love once again. Proceed with caution, and leave fear behind you. Love is worth the risk.

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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