We all hope to have and experience that perfect romantic aspect in our lives. Most of us will search far and wide, and strive to find the closest thing possible to what seems like a great match. When we find that person, explore a relationship with them, and let our guards down, we become open to falling in love. Experiencing what love is, and embracing that honeymoon type of feeling can be the most exciting and thrilling feeling.
It’s important that we do everything and anything in order to make that honeymoon type of feeling last for the long term, and not merely for the beginning of a relationship. In order to do that, it takes hard work and effort from both people in the relationship. Both people need to equally put in a certain amount of love and effort into maintaining the happiness that they share as a couple. They can do so by working on improving themselves individually, as well by improving the relationship as a team.
The problem is that many times one person does most of the self-improvement, relationship improvement, and tends to be the one to put most of, if not, all of the love and effort into keeping the relationship strong and happy. One person should never be doing all of the work. Like I said before, it takes two people to work as a team and as partners if they want to maintain the happiness within the relationship. But even more so, if they want to maintain that honeymoon type of feeling.
There are many people that have experienced dating someone that seemed so incredibly interested in them at one moment. But the next, they’d almost feel as if their partner wasn’t into them at all. Many people would describe this feeling as if their partner was like a light switch. They’d feel as if one minute their switch was on and the lights were bright, thriving, and bursting with energy, and enthusiasm. But the next minute, their switch was off, and they’d feel no love, no effort, and as if they’re more of an option than a priority to their partner. They basically feel as if their partner would lose interest in a mere instant, and at any unexpected moment, their feelings for them would change.
When someone tends to get hot and cold during the dating period or even throughout a relationship, it’s important to figure out why their partner is basically shutting down their emotions. When someone acts so incredibly enthusiastic one minute, but the next minute they act as if they’ve lost complete interest in their partner, there’s usually more to what’s going on than what it seems. Usually people become hot and cold more often when they’re confused or commitment phobic to some extent.
One of the biggest problems that people with commitment phobia have is that they become hot and cold very often towards their partners. Just like anyone else, someone with commitment phobia also wants to feel loved, give love, and embrace the excitement of a new relationship. The problem is that people with commitment phobia can only bear to be in an exclusive relationship for certain amount of time before they feel enclosed, trapped, and tied down. The last thing that someone with commitment phobia wants to feel is too much of a good thing, too much intensity, or even too much love.
Commitment phobia is something that can be worked on, and is definitely not a permanent issue. When someone acts hot and cold, it’s important to be cautious, and communicate with your partner as to whether or not there’s a chance they could be commitment phobic. There are many ways to tell if someone has commitment phobia. Someone acting hot and cold more frequently than they should is just one of the ways to tell that someone has a fear of commitment. When you’re dating or in a relationship with someone that has commitment issues, it can be truly hurtful and confusing when they act hot and cold.
Communication is everything in a relationship, so you should never feel afraid to talk about this topic with your partner, and especially if you feel that they could have this issue. When someone acts hot and cold a lot, it can cause great turbulence, discomfort, and pain to the person that they’re dating to the extent where they become utterly confused and hurt by not knowing what to expect from their partner. One minute they love you, and the next they’re unsure, confused, or wanting “space to think,” etc.
When someone is unpredictable in a relationship, there’s no chance for the relationship to last very long. Stability is very important in life and for any relationship. You should never have to question whether or not someone truly loves you and wants to be with you. If you’re in a relationship or even dating someone that acts as if they’re into you or even more so, when they act as if they love you by their words and actions, it’s important for those feelings and actions to be stable.
Being predictable is imperative in any romantic relationship. Having said that, being predictable doesn’t mean that being spontaneous is a bad thing. Spontaneity can actually be a really great thing to help keep the fire alive in relationships. However, if someone is acting hot and cold or wishy-washy, you’ll never know what to expect, and you’ll definitely never be able to predict how your partner is feeling towards you.
A relationship where someone acts very hot and cold isn’t going to be a healthy one. If you suspect that your partner acts hot and cold, then it’s crucial that you get to the bottom of why they’re acting in such a way. If you find out that the reason your partner is acting hot and cold is because they’re confused or are hesitant towards being in an exclusive relationship, you have two choices. You can either end the situation with them cold turkey or discuss ways in which they can improve themselves and their fears of commitment so that you can embrace the experience of a healthy and happy relationship.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- The Pages of Our Book - May 15, 2019
- Saturday Thoughts and Relationship Advice From Someone Who Loves Maybe a Little Too Much - May 4, 2019
- The Power of Date Night - April 26, 2019