When you’re with a great match, the right person, and that “one and only” you’ve always wanted, you tend to care much less, if at all, about where you go and what you do together. It usually won’t be about the particular location, how fancy somewhere is, or even the particular activity that you do together. As long as you’re together. And although, it’s always great to have a plan, to make reservations, and even to indulge or dine out on special occasions or whenever really, it’s always good to focus more on the person and enjoy someone for who they are, for the great company, and to appreciate their company, rather than focus on where you’re going. In this article, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I feel are some important things to look for in a match.
It’s good, no, it’s great, to know what you want in a match and in a partner. But to have ulterior motives or hidden agendas, and only date and spend time with someone because of what they can do for you or what they can provide for you, it’s completely wrong. For those who are doing this, maybe it’s time to take a break from dating altogether and work on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with doing a little soul searching, self improvement, or even with taking some alone time. Hey, we all have things that we can work on and improve. Working on being the best version of yourself, is something that when done right, will likely take a lifetime to perfect.
It’s imperative to remember that, when you’re with someone who’s a good match for you, and not merely a great catch or simply great on paper etc., what you should both really want, is for one another to feel good, happy, and healthy. You should feel the desire to spend time with each other and to get to know one another on a deeper level. This naturally tends to happen when both people have good and pure intentions.
You won’t care about the little things as much. That is, if you remain grounded and remember how important it truly is, to appreciate what you have when you have it. Having said that, unfortunately many times, people take what they have in life, all of the beautiful gifts that they’re given, and all else for granted, and only appreciate things and people when they’re gone. And many times, they only notice how great things are when they see that someone else has them.
When things are right, and when you’re with someone who truly likes or dare I say, loves you for you, it’s incredible. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be liked, admired, and loved so deeply and so purely by someone and to know deep down that they’re with you because of you and nothing superficial. When someone’s motives of dating you and spending time with you is purely to get to know as much as they can about you, and for all of the right reasons, you’ll see it through their words and their actions. Appreciate that person. This is rare these days, especially with online dating and people so easily swiping right and left after one small hiccup of an issue with a person who they might’ve actually had a lot of potential with. Appreciate it when someone shows you such beautiful character and when you can clearly see that their intentions are pure and good.
Remember, when both you, and the person you’re dating have pure intentions, it’s imperative to build a foundation together based on honesty, trust, and great communication. You should both be willing to push each other towards your goals, and towards things that will make you both better people. You should both be willing to learn and grow together and keep an open mind at times, even when things are new and uncharted territory.
The truth is, when you’re with the right person, you both naturally become better people and find the will to work harder towards your goals. And it actually starts to feel natural and inspiring when you see your partner pushing forward and doing positive things in life. You’ll naturally desire to support them and want them to thrive and feel loved and supported, but still keep them grounded and focused when they lose track or fall down.
Every word, every sentence, each breath, and every moment that you spend together builds. When you listen and absorb what’s being shared by the other person, it builds, shapes, and has the power to bring you closer together. It can even bring you both to a more elevated place in life towards enlightenment, as well as towards having the type of love that perhaps you’ve always dreamed of. But just know, that nothing good in life comes easy. You both have to be willing to work for the type of relationship you want. And it doesn’t stop early on or after the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase needs to last a lifetime when things are right, but it takes love, effort, and hard work.
Be willing to work on improving yourself and your relationship by being a great partner and doing your share in your relationship. Be selfless whenever possible, be understanding, and be nurturing to one another. Make sure that you’re doing your share in your relationship and that nothing feels one-sided to you or your partner. Learn to communicate your wants, needs, and feelings openly and freely, and in a kind and poised manner.
Things will start to flow and feel natural. You won’t have to force anything. That includes changing what you believe, your values, what you want in life and in a partner, or your timeline of when you see things happening in your future. And you’ll tend to be on the same page for important matters and as far as what you both want. You won’t, and they won’t feel pressured, but when you speak and share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions, you’ll feel heard and they might even agree and feel similarly towards many of the same things.
You will always have to work on improving yourself and on your relationship. This is something that it takes to make any relationship work and be good! It takes love, effort, hard work, compromise, developing great communication, and even being each other’s best friends. It takes letting go and even apologizing at times, or many times for that matter, when you’re wrong or even for hurting someone if they feel hurt at times and perhaps when you’re not wrong. It takes having a forgiving and loving heart, supporting each other and being each other’s rocks or backbones. It involves stability and having each other’s back and embracing the fact that you will always have each other at the end of the day.
Finding the right match, is the best feeling ever, and I hope, pray, and wish very much that we all find and keep our match. Like I said before, things will tend to flow when you’re with the right person. However, that doesn’t mean, that things will be perfect now, or ever for that matter. Things aren’t supposed to be perfect, perfectly aligned, and definitely not all of the time. But they are supposed to match just enough to feel right. That’s probably why, when you’re with the right match, many people will tend to say things like, “When it’s right, it’s right, and you just know.”
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More from Anne Cohen Writes
Why You Shouldn’t Have to Make Things Work
When You Find the Right Match – You’ll Know It
Be a Good Person – Be Honest About Your Intentions 
Why You Should Find out Someone’s Intentions Before a First Date
Why Couples Need to Be on the Same Page
When You Have to Convince Someone How Great You Are… Next!
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