A lot of people end up getting together thinking that they are meant to be forever. But not everyone undergoes a happy ending.
Being in a relationship isn’t a bed full of roses; people experience so many emotions when living together. Whether you’ve been two months into a relationship or married for twenty years, being in a miserable relationship is always hard.
Looking beyond the cheesy side, relationships are always tough. It takes a lot of dedication and trust between one another to make things work and last longer. But if you and your partner just can’t seem to move past your conflicts and are having a rough time in each other’s company, then a breakup is inevitable.
What’s Your Relationship Status
Do you think your honeymoon phase is ending? Do you feel there is no more spark between you two? What does this reveal about your relationship?
It’s always hard to break up or think of getting a divorce with the one you love —what’s worse is staying in an unhappy relationship that shows no sign of recovering. It’s not easy figuring out what went wrong or who to blame for it. It all comes to the point that he/she was not meant for you.
When you’ve been living together for quite a while, you know it’s not easy to pack up your things and say ‘it’s over’. It’s not that easy — especially when this person shares kids with you or is an important part of your life. You both might share the same house, same friends, or could have worked for a great future ahead.
Saying goodbye to all of that is heartbreaking — but trust me, it’s better than staying in a loveless relationship for the rest of your life.
Heading Towards the Doom? It’s Still Not the End…
If you aren’t sure where your relationship is headed to and need some guidance in resolving matters amicably, here’s what you should be doing.
Don’t Lose Your Cool While Arguing
Having respect for each other is extremely important. It shows how much you value and love a person. When couples fight each other, they tend to become defensive and the matters turn into an argument. If the insults and insinuations are crossed over to disrespect, that’s when you start getting major issues.
Being rude or showing disrespect worsens a situation. Maintain your calm and resist yourself from making accusations. Fighting dirty won’t make the other person forgive you easily.
Communicate Well and Pay Attention
Sure couples bicker every once or twice or so but if they are really committed to one another, they know that all they have to do is talk to each other calmly. So have a face to face discussion in order to end your conflicts.
If that is something you and your partner are unable to do — your relationship is near its end. If either of you feels they are always being criticized, you two are eye-rolling at each other or cutting each other off mid-conversation, then that’s a major red flag of impending doom.
Listen to what your partner has to say. Communications help resolve all the issues, no matter how serious they are.
Stop Going Sherlock on Your Partner
Imagine crumpling up a piece of paper and then trying to straighten it back to its original form. No matter how long you work on fixing it, it will never have the same form again. That is exactly what trust can turn into if you misuse it.
It takes years to gain someone’s trust but only a micro-second to destroy it completely. A single act of betrayal can be hard to mend someone’s heart.
It takes a long time before the trust is regained but if you constantly doubt your partner or feel like you need to keep an eye on them, there’s a serious problem with you.
Despite everything, if you just can’t seem to find that trust between each other again, then that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship and you need to seriously think whether you want to stay like this forever or not.
Seek Help from a Counselor
Emotionally withdrawing from your partner is quite painful and might lead to confusion and mistrust in the future. To avoid such situations, it is recommended to consult a therapist who will assist in evaluating your relationship.
The counselor might ask you both to sit together and discuss whether you want to salvage your relationship or not. Everything else comes later. He’d dig out your personal life to identify problems and why they’re occurring. Sometimes there is too much resentment to move forward.
Resentment usually stems when a couple doesn’t communicate its problems. They think that the issue can’t be resolved or for the sake of avoiding any argument, they end up gritting their teeth and hold everything in. What they don’t realize is that they are feeding their subdued emotions to hatred.
We all have a limit to how much we can bear things. And putting a lid on every emotion isn’t possible in the long run. It makes you miserable; it makes you resentful of one another.
A counselor will prepare you for the worst times while helping you to accept each other with faults.
A Weekend Getaway is Mandatory
Do you ever feel like you don’t want to go back home after work? Are you constantly looking for distractions from your partner? Are you ignoring their messages? These are all clear signs that you are bothered by your partner’s involvement in your life.
If you’re consciously trying to avoid social and physical intimacy with your partner, I’d suggest a weekend getaway. Being busy in work or kids might make you feel frustrated and distanced from your partner.
The best solution is to go on a camping trip in the north or a summerhouse near the Alps. Switch off your phones or any other tech gadgets. Cook some food together and involve yourselves in fun activities. An escape from the daily bustle will definitely uplift your mood.
Being alone in some deserted island is also a good idea to reignite your lost spark.
When All Else Fails, Get A Divorce
Divorce must be the last resort. There are times when there is too much resentment for each other that nothing is left to salvage a relationship. Nobody’s ready to negotiate or compromise. This usually results in divorce.
There’s no point in staying in an abusive relationship. It will exhaust you — both physically and mentally. You know when’s the right time to leave and break up with your partner.
Stop fooling yourself into thinking that your partner and you will make it through. Get a divorce. You deserve better and you should find the courage to close a painful chapter in your life so that you can start over with a better one.
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