You know what they say, you have to pick and choose your battles. No one wants to be looked at like a complainer, or even date one for that matter. You shouldn’t be competitive with your partner when it comes to having the upper hand in situations or even when it comes to winning an argument. When it comes to picking and choosing your battles, you need to figure out how important something is to you or your partner.
I’ve talked previously about having a 1 to 10 scale in which you can easily tell how important something is to you and your partner. “One” meaning something isn’t important at all, you don’t want to do it, or you don’t like it. If you’re a “ten” on the scale, it’s saying that something is really important to you, and it’s a must-have. So you basically have to pick a number on the scale when you and your partner don’t agree on something. This scale can be used for anything in the relationship, and even deciding which restaurant to go to or to even go at all for that matter.
When it comes to having disagreements in your relationship, it’s never about winning, and you shouldn’t look at it that way. But things should definitely be fair, and never one-sided, or in a way in which one person always has the final say. The same thing goes for any type of relationship whether romantic or not.
Something I’m very against is sweeping things under the rug, and avoiding confrontation. Avoiding confrontation in relationships will not only lead a couple nowhere, but there will never be any growth in the relationship, and it’s the opposite of working on developing better communication. You can’t expect to improve a relationship as you should, when you’re avoiding confrontation. As well, when you sweep things under the rug, you’re basically biting your tongue, and trying to avoid drama.
There are many reasons why couples shouldn’t let things slide. But the most important reason is because it will cause short term light, and long term darkness. You can’t expect to grow with your partner or for your relationship to last very long (or at least, in a healthy manner) when you’re avoiding certain discussions. By avoiding having any type of stress or turbulence in your relationship, it might feel good in the moment, but it will ultimately cause the relationship harm.
The problem with avoiding confrontation, or sweeping things under the rug is that it’s a form of imploding your feelings. When you implode, you’ll eventually explode, and there’s no place for explosions in a relationship. It’s important to work on improving your relationship continuously, and even more so when and if you get married. You should never feel as if you or your partner are letting things slide, and avoiding talking about certain subjects that might not be very comfortable for either one of you.
It’s better to nip things in the bud, rather than avoid talking about things or communicating your feelings. Remember, if you ultimately want to have and maintain a happy and loving relationship, it’s going to take hard work, and great communication. Therefore, you should definitely avoid letting things slide, as well as avoiding discomfort or pain by not saying what’s actually on your mind.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- The Pages of Our Book - May 15, 2019
- Saturday Thoughts and Relationship Advice From Someone Who Loves Maybe a Little Too Much - May 4, 2019
- The Power of Date Night - April 26, 2019