When you meet someone new that you have hopes in starting a new relationship with, it’s important to understand that you’re not always going to like every single thing about them. At least, not after the honeymoon phase. There will always be things that you might feel you could do without when it comes to the little things the person you’re dating might do. To fall in love with a person, you don’t have to love every little thing about them. But, what you must do is accept them for who they are, and without trying to change them.
You should never have to change someone to suit your needs, your ways, and your preferences. You should love someone for who they are naturally, and without them having to conform and change into some version of what you feel is acceptable in order for them to be your partner. You shouldn’t have to change, and you shouldn’t want your partner to have to change in ways that will take away from who they are at their core, and in their beliefs. This goes for how they look in their appearance as well. Changing other people is a big no-no in new relationships.
If you like almost everything about a person except for a few things, you basically need to deal with it, suck it up, and either accept the person as they are now, or move on and find someone who you feel will be more towards your standards. Clearly, if your standards are incredibly, over-the-top high, it might be truly hard for anyone to meet them. No one should have unreasonable expectations or feel that their partner needs to be perfect to the “t.” I’m not perfect myself, far from it even, and I have yet to meet anyone else that’s perfect either.
Unless you’re trying to build a piece of machinery, put together a puzzle, or some type of electronics, etc., nothing needs to fit perfectly to the point where imperfect is no longer appealing. Imperfections are damn sexy if you ask me, and if you ask most people that I know. It’s our quirky little idiosyncrasies that make each and every one of us stand out as individuals. It’s the cute little things that we say and do that make us different. But, when it comes to meeting someone new, and dating or getting into a relationship with them, if you don’t like who they are from the get-go, how they dress, what they look like, what they believe, or how they act in different ways, they’re probably not the right match for you.
It’s important to realize that you shouldn’t change people, and you should definitely be weary of people that try to change you. Not only shouldn’t you try to change people from their natural ways of doing things, how they think, how they feel, how they look, and how they act, but you need to understand that people’s core values and natural ways won’t change. Even if someone temporarily changes themselves in order to please you, it’s true that they’re being kind, giving, and trying to accommodate your needs or desires. But if you think about it, you’re changing someone, and from their perspective, they’re changing for you, and it’s totally uncool.
You shouldn’t have to change someone if they’re your best possible match. Your best possible match in life, your partner, your best friend, and soulmate is not going to need you to change or alter your ways of thinking, feelings, or even how you look in order to please them. If you’re dating or in a relationship with the right person, they’re going to embrace who you are at your core, and naturally. The last thing that they’ll ever do is try to change anything about you. When you’re in the right situation, you’re not going to feel like you have to change anyone, and they’re not going to feel the need to change you in any way either.
Be with Someone, and Know That They May Never Change.
I’m sure by now, and after reading this article, you’re well aware that by changing people I’m referring to everything, excluding self-improvement, because we can always improve ourselves for the better psychologically, intellectually, and emotionally. But when it comes to dating or being in a relationship with someone, you should accept a person for how they are now, and love them the way they are when you meet, without changing them or even trying to.
If someone has certain bad habits, or things that aren’t part of their beliefs, core values, ways of thinking, or natural looks, and it’s something that might be harmful to the person, to others, or even to you, it’s important to understand that people don’t change. Remember what I’m saying now, because it’s something that truly needs to resonate with every single one of us.
People do not change, and you have to accept them for how they are right now, and today.
You can’t expect to get into a relationship with someone with hopes that they’ll change and improve for the better by quitting whatever bad habits or toxic things that they might be involved in. You need to expect that if you get into a relationship or marry someone that is a certain way right now, whether they have bad habits, if they’re overweight, or whatever the issue might be, you have to realize that they may never change, so you need to accept them how they are right now if you intend on being with them, and staying with them for the long-term.
We can’t change other people, and we really shouldn’t try to. We should accept people for how they are, because that’s what makes each and every one of us so beautiful and special. You don’t need to be exactly like anyone, and that means like your partner, your best friend, someone famous that you might admire, or anyone else. When we’re truly compatible with another person, we’ll know it, because we won’t feel as if we want to change and alter their ways of how they are and what they do.
You need to embrace who you are deep down at your core, and to the point where others will be able to truly see who the real you is. That’s the person, the one deep down inside of you. Yes, the person that you know is the real you. That’s the one that people fall in love with, and learn to adore. That’s the one that your best match in life is going to completely and utter fall in love with. Be you, and let your partner be themselves. Find the beauty in authenticity, and don’t waste people’s time by settling for someone that you feel the need to change, because if you or your partner is feeling that way, you’re definitely not the right match.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- When People Treat You Like One of Many, Instead of One in a Million - September 20, 2017
- When They Say That It’s About the Person, Not the Place – They’re Right - September 18, 2017
- The Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating 2017-2018 - September 9, 2017