I can write hundreds of lists explaining why you should stay in a relationship that’s based on love. And I can write hundreds more saying how when the love is there, why you should keep fighting for things to work. There are endless articles that can be written about how and when you should put love and effort towards improving your relationships, and how you should stick it out during the hard times so that you’ll appreciate the good times and thrive in a happy relationship. But at the end of the day, all of those articles are irrelevant and pointless when a couple has certain problems that don’t get resolved.
When couples are willing to work on their issues and improve their relationships, those articles will all be helpful. But the problem that many relationships have, is that one or both people say that they’re going to change and improve, but they don’t. Simply said, if both people aren’t willing to do what it takes to make their relationship better, things not only won’t improve, but it will completely pointless to stay together.
Many times, it’s merely one person who is willing to put the effort and love into improving things, while the other is not. Someone who isn’t willing to improve things in their relationship isn’t very different from someone who says they’re going to do things to change and improve for the better, but still doesn’t. You can only give so many chances to someone when they say that they’re going to make improvements, but don’t. And there’s no sense in staying in a relationship that’s one-sided, where one person does all of the self-improvement and is the only one showing effort and love by working on their relationship.
Relationships take an equal amount of love and effort from both people. There should be a healthy balance of give-and-take, compromise, and doing your share of things in a relationship. So if you find that you’re in a relationship where your partner either says they’re going to change but doesn’t, or they simply refuse to change at all, then you should head for the door and not waste anymore of your time. Having a loving, healthy, and happy relationship is something that we all crave. But when couples aren’t equally willing to put the effort and love that it takes to maintain that type of relationship, it will be impossible for that couple to be happy.
There’s a big reason why people say that anything good takes a certain amount of pain. And I know some people that might disagree with that saying, so I can only tell you my thoughts on the matter. So here goes! If you want anything bad enough, you have to be willing to do what it takes to get it, and if you want to have whatever it is last a lifetime, then you have to be willing to give it the love and care that’s needed. So if you’re in a relationship where you feel unhappy because you’re the only one giving, and the only one who cares about maintaining the happiness that you share, then you should find another situation that will be healthier and more balanced.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- The Pages of Our Book - May 15, 2019
- Saturday Thoughts and Relationship Advice From Someone Who Loves Maybe a Little Too Much - May 4, 2019
- The Power of Date Night - April 26, 2019