You can’t change people. You can only help to direct them in a different direction, and try to make them see things from another perspective. As far as changing someone, it’s impossible, and sometimes despite knowing that it’s impossible, many people unfortunately try to change people regardless. This is a big mistake that many of us keep making. At the end of the day though, if someone doesn’t own up to their mistakes, admit to their problems, and desire to change and improve themselves, they won’t change.
When it comes to dating someone new, we may like a lot about a person, and although we should never expect for them to be perfect, even when they’re close to perfect, we still want them to act a certain way or have similar beliefs as we do. Not everyone does this, and obviously, that’s a good thing, because it’s not the right way to go about dating. Falling in love with someone means accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.
The other day, I was talking with someone, and he mentioned something about how when two people start dating, they love everything about the other person, but as soon as they get into a relationship with them, they want to change everything that they were initially attracted to in that person. And I must say, there’s a tremendous amount of truth to what he had said. It’s unfortunately a very true statement.
One specific thing that I wanted to write about in this article, is about people who lie. So many people lie, and they not only do so easily, without guilt, and on a regular basis, but they lie to their loved ones. They lie by hiding things, by keeping their partner in the dark, by breaking promises, and by blatantly telling complete lies, and yes, even those little white ones. Lying is one of the most damaging things that couples can do in their relationship.
When people lie in a relationship, they break the glass. They break it, because trust in a relationship is everything. I truly believe that couples should give one another the benefit of the doubt whenever they question their partner’s words, actions, or even intentions, and yes, even or especially in a new relationship. You see, a new relationship deserves to have a beautiful, blank, clean slate, where both people have faith in one another, trust each other, are brutally honest, and have an open book mentality with each other. But the problem is, once the trust is broken, lies are told, and things are hidden, couples will argue, lose trust, no longer be able to give their partner the benefit of the doubt, and they’ll ultimately lose that clean slate.
Now, as far as changing people, like I said, you can’t. Someone who lies will always lie. That is, unless they recognize and learn from their problem. It takes a lot of work. It’s easy for anyone to say empty words that hold no substance by lacking the actions to back them up. But for someone to truly change, they have to want to change and become better themselves. You simply can’t change a liar into an honest person no matter how badly you want them to change, despite how many chances you give them, and despite how much you love and adore them. If they don’t work hard and change themselves by completely recognizing and fixing the problem, they won’t ever change.
The best method for new relationships is to be completely honest and open book from the get go. Lying is hard not only on the liar because they need to come up with bullsh** all of the time, and to cover it up with more bullsh** to keep up with their lies, but it’s destructive to the purity of the foundation of what brings peace, happiness, and love to the relationship. Telling the truth and being open book is easy, and it brings more love, trust, faith, and security than you can imagine.
So folks, let me give you one final piece of advice—if you’re already dating or in a relationship with someone who is lying alot, address your concerns, tell your partner some of the reasons of how it’s damaging to what you have and explain to the person how if they don’t change themselves, you can’t proceed forward. Trust me, it’s in your best interest to end things if someone doesn’t change.
Remember, people need to change themselves, because you can’t do it. You can merely confront them with the issue, and be open to spreading words of wisdom, and a light of spiritual guidance towards becoming better. You can also set an example, but that alone won’t be enough if the person isn’t willing to change. If someone doesn’t want to improve themselves, they’re not doing their share in the relationship. Happy and healthy relationships require both people being the best version of themselves, and equally having the desire to continuously work on themselves and on their relationship.