Too Many Options and Still Single

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When it comes to dating, many times people find it hard to meet other singles. A lot of times they don’t know where they can meet people to date, so they explore different ways like social events, getting fixed up, randomly meeting people throughout their day like at a coffee shop, etc.,and then they might even explore online dating sites.


When it comes to meeting someone online to date and that has pure intentions just like you, you need to be cautious because many times people will lie or mislead you. A lot of times so much of what people write on their profile isn’t very accurate, or maybe not even accurate at all (including pictures). As far as dating someone that you’ve met online, I’m definitely not against it. However, I always recommend using the 3 Date Rule. Having said that, first and foremost, and before that first date, you should definitely have a first phone call.


You can tell a lot about a person during a first phone call conversation. Generally speaking, if someone isn’t even willing to talk to you one time before meeting, it’s likely that their intentions aren’t pure. Someone that’s truly hoping to find something with long-term potential is going to be willing to put effort and time into getting to know a person, and even more so, they’ll be willing to go at a pace that’s comfortable for you.


Whether you meet people in online dating sites, through social media, on blind dates, through a friend, or in any other way, you shouldn’t be dating too many people at the same time. It’s important to give each situation a genuine chance, and that’s why I highly recommend the 3 Date Rule, before dating someone else. I also highly recommend that after three dates, both people deactivate their dating site profiles (if they have any up) in order to give their situation a genuine chance, even though they’re not exclusive yet.


This brings me to the main purpose behind this article, and that’s the fact that we all have too many options. At least, we all think that we do. Many times, people that feel that they have so many options, and then end up not picking anyone to date at all. Been there, done that! It’s important not to get so full of yourself or even if you’re not full of yourself and you’re just overwhelmed with the people that are trying to simply have a first date with you that you end up not dating anyone.


You can’t keep looking for someone better than the next person to the point where you don’t choose anyone to explore a first date with. It’s important to give someone a chance that has potential with you, despite whether their online profile looks perfect to the “T.” No one is going to be perfect, and it’s important to give situations a chance when you see that they’re promising.


Don’t get me wrong, because I don’t believe in going on pointless dates when you know that there’s no chance for you to ultimately be with someone. However, if you see that there are certain things that are appealing about a person, have a first phone call, ask them a few questions, get to know them a little bit, and then make a decision on whether you want to pursue a situation with them.


Don’t be pessimistic or get to a point where you feel that you have so many options, because although you may feel that you have so many options, you likely don’t. Even people that are known to be absolutely stunning in appearance, gorgeous beyond words, have a prestigious and awesome job or career, and just seem like the full on package, they still have to get off of their high horse and come back down to reality, and realize that despite how many possible options that they might have in who wants to date them, they’re not really options if they’re not “good options” for them.


Just because someone wants to date someone else doesn’t mean that they’re going to be a good match for them in any way. So if you’re the type of person that goes on swiping dating apps and feels that you have a million options, because people have perhaps swiped you right or even auto swiped you right (sorry girls and guys, I had to), then you’re either not understanding what “having options” really means, you’re full of yourself, or you’re just completely delusional.


Having too many options is something that almost no one has when you think about it. It doesn’t matter what a great catch someone might be and how many people might want to date them, because it’s not about the quantity of people that want to date someone that makes them have a lot of options. It’s more so about how many of the right types of people for a person want to date them.


We’re all looking and hoping to find our best possible match in life, our other half, and our soulmate. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, then I’m sure that we can all agree that we’d all like to find someone that just gets us and that we’ll be compatible with. Either way, there’s something important to realize and I hope that most of us do, and that’s the fact that it’s not about how many options a person has to date, because each and every one of us only needs one person. We just need one person that’s going to be compatible with us and that we can call a partner in life.


Last but not least, remember that when it comes to people “feeling” as if they have too many options in the dating scene, they’re likely not going to choose any of them. The truth is, if someone feels as if they have so many options to choose from, they’re either going to develop some form of arrogance or possibly never even give a situation a genuine chance. Who the heck needs so many options anyway! When you find yourself dating someone that feels promising, explore a situation with them. What have you got to lose, your options? Really? Enough is enough, so start eliminating your supposed options, so that you can see clearly when promising situations present themselves.


Although, many times people will judge others for having so many options and not choosing any of them to explore or be with, who cares! Like I said above, what they’re not understanding is the fact that they were never really options for the person to begin with. Don’t worry about what people say and how they might judge you for turning down “supposed options” when it comes to dating, because you know what’s best for you (or you at least you should), and it takes time to find your best possible match in life. You can’t rush a good thing, and things just happen sometimes when you least expect it. I know, I know, that sounds a bit cliché, and maybe even a little corny, but it’s true.

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Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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