When Your New Love Compares You to Their Past Love


There are many singles out there that have experienced true love in their life. For whatever reason, they’re not together now, and things just didn’t work out with that person. Let’s assume that enough time has passed from that situation, and for some time they’ve been open to finding love and happiness with someone else. Many people have experienced relationships as such, where they’ve actually experienced the type of love that they hope to have in their future. Whether they were the ones that ended their previous situation or if the other person ended it, it’s irrelevant, because they’re no longer together. Now that the person is in the dating scene and trying to meet someone new, they want that same type of love and happy feeling that they experienced in their previous relationship. However, every relationship is going to be different. By different, I mean a different experience with a different person, and a different type of love and joy is bound to be experienced.


You can’t expect that the love you will have now or in the future will be the same as the type of love that you’d experienced in a previous situation. The fact of the matter is that everyone loves differently, and every situation will provide a different feeling, and it shouldn’t be compared in any way to any previous relationships that you might’ve had. It’s important to go into new situations with an open heart. In order to do so, you must not bring in unrealistic expectations of wanting to experience the same type of love that you had in the past, because it simply can’t and won’t happen. If you truly want to move on and find a beautiful love once again, you have to have an open heart, and your heart is not truly open to loving someone new if you expect it to be identical to your previous situation.


It’s important to embrace a new love and relationship with a blank, clean slate. In other words, embrace a new love with a genuine open heart, where you’re not comparing the person or the relationship to your past ones. The truth is, if someone is comparing someone new and a new relationship to someone or a particular situation from their past, it’s likely that they still have residual feelings, hurt, or wounds from the person, and that relationship. You should never assume that the person that you’re dating is feeling this way or that they’re not over their ex. Having said that, your instinct is usually right. Listen to your instinct and don’t sweep things under the rug. If you feel as though the person you’re dating is constantly comparing you to someone from their past or to the relationship that they had, that’s toxic behaviour, and you should definitely call them out on it. Like I said, don’t sweep things under the rug, and bring it to their attention that comparing you and your current situation with them to a situation from their past isn’t right, and definitely won’t be beneficial to your relationship now.

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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