Not in the Mood? Get in the Mood

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It’s important to be giving in any relationship. Having said that, I’m sure that many times we all get moody, and at times, don’t feel very sexual for different reasons. Perhaps you have a lot on your mind, or perhaps you’re just not feeling as if you look your best physically. We all go through moments and times in our lives when we don’t feel our sexiest or as if we look our best. I’d like to expand on some of the reasons why people don’t want to be intimate, as well as how we can improve our intimacy with our partner.


I can’t stress enough the fact that you should never go to bed angry. In relationships, there will always be ups and downs and different issues that will arise. However, it’s important not to bring those issues into the bedroom, and to always at least try to resolve issues before going to sleep. Despite the fact that not all issues can be resolved quickly and before going to sleep, it’s still important to create enough peace and calm in your relationship before going to sleep, even if your issues haven’t been resolved yet. 


When you’re married, you should never deprive your partner of intimacy because you’re upset about things that have nothing to do with being intimate or being close. Remember the reason that you got married to your partner. Remember why you love them. And try to concentrate on all of the positive things that you have with your partner, as opposed to what you lack. 


Make sure that there’s enough give and take in your relationship in all areas, and definitely, when it comes to being intimate. Intimacy is a big part of relationships, so it’s imperative that you concentrate on giving to your partner, and not merely receiving all of the time. In all aspects of our relationship, things should be pretty fair, we’re both of your needs are being met, and where there’s a healthy amount of balance. If you concentrate on giving love and affection to your partner enough, your partner should naturally feel an inclination to be giving in return and to reciprocate your love and affection. 


Feeling angry, resentful, bitter, or hurt by certain things that your partner might’ve said throughout the day, is still no excuse for you to deprive him or her from intimacy. You see, those are the types of issues that you need to address during the day, and definitely before going to sleep. You should never feel the need to sweep things under the rug and not address certain issues that bother you. Never bring your issues into the bedroom. 


When it comes to being insecure about the way that you look, you need to remember to be confident, to appreciate all of your beautiful qualities, and to know that your partner married you or is with you because of who you are, and not solely for what you look like on a physical level. When a person loves you, they should love all of you. And in order for anyone to love you, you need to love yourself first and foremost. If you have certain concerns about your body and your appearance, then there are always things that you can do to improve it. Having said that, withholding intimacy because you don’t feel that your body or looks are up to par or that you’re not sexy enough, and you feel insecure about how you look, remember not to take those personal insecurities out on your partner by withholding intimacy. 

Anne Cohen
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