Many people have different reasons for using online dating sites and apps. Online Dating Apps… Ah yes, don’t lie, come on! You’re either on them, you’ve tried them, or you know someone that has. But you’ve definitely heard of them. They’re becoming a very common method for communicating and meeting people. Some people look for a friend, a date, a hookup, a special connection, and yes, even for their one true love— their soulmate. Having said that, whatever it is that one is in search for and hopes to find within these sites and apps, many times, people will create fake profiles, catfish others, or even simply pretend that they’re looking for more than a casual fling when they’re not. It’s imperative that people start realizing how bad it is to hurt others and merely for their own selfish gain.
I’d like to start out by saying that there’s a soul behind every swipe, behind every profile, and behind every face. Every profile and bio that’s either written or left blank in dating sites and apps belong to an individual who has some motive and is looking for something. If only everyone was honest about their intentions and thought before they spoke and acted, articles like this wouldn’t be written or even necessary.
Dating sites and apps should have warning labels on them, but unfortunately, they don’t.
Online dating has a major grass is greener effect. People have become easily replaceable or at least swiping apps are making it seem that way. And because of this toxic effect, people are hurting others and without caring for one second how it will affect someone if they’re lied to and ghosted. I’m assuming by now, many of you know what it means to be ghosted. For those who don’t, it means that someone does the disappearing act, leaving the other person in mystery as to why they left, where they went, and what the heck just happened.
We all know what it means to be lied to, to be misled, used, manipulated, and for someone to toy with our emotions. Many people don’t care about the consequences of their actions because they feel that it won’t affect them personally. But on the contrary, it darkens their soul and adds to their lack of empathy. It’s truly a very sad thing, and I can’t tell you how many hearts pour out to me daily by those who have been hurt, used, lied to, and ghosted by others.
Swiping apps, in particular, can be extremely toxic and hurt people more than one can imagine. You’ve probably heard this many time over, but you can’t change the actions of others, only your own. Therefore, we need to be kind, empathetic, sensitive, and understanding of the world around us. And not solely from the fear of God, or even karma biting us back one day if we act out. But more so, because we care about being good, about setting a good example, and because we don’t want to hurt others. You don’t know what makes me tick and I don’t know what makes you tick. However, I think that we can all pretty much agree that no one likes to be used, lied to, hurt, or abandoned and without knowing why. And I think that we can all agree that ghosting someone without an explanation is a pretty shitty feeling for one to endure, especially if or when they were led on and didn’t see it coming.
LA will eat you alive… if you let it. So don’t. Eat it first.
Stay strong. You have to. It’s not hard or challenging to find a date, but it is hard to find the right person and the best match for you. If you know what you want, don’t lie, manipulate, or use people at all. And again, the reason that you shouldn’t act poorly or as if you don’t have even an ounce of remorse, let alone a soul, is simply because you should always try to be righteous, honest, decent, and kind. We’re not here to hurt each other folks. Stop this ghosting nonsense. Why lie and lie and use people in order to get what you want and then disappear. What a shitty thing to do. Why make someone believe your words and your actions are pure and that you’re trustworthy, just to kick them to the curb and sucker punch them when they’re down, right after they believe you or give you the benefit of the doubt.
It’s not easy to stand up tall, hold your chin up, and remain confident and unjaded when one has hurt you, and many of us know this and have endured some amount of pain or heartache in our lives and can relate. But try to hold it together. Don’t let LA eat you, and don’t let the people in LA or anywhere try to take away from that beautiful shining spirit and warm-hearted, loving soul. Stay who you are, stay optimistic, trusting, and authentic, and don’t let people harm you with their selfish and deceitful ways. Learn to develop a thicker skin but without building an emotional wall or barrier. You have to risk getting hurt by being vulnerable if you hope to fall in love.
Last but definitely not least, be honest and be kind. If you know what you’re looking for and you see that someone else wants something different, make it known that you want different things. Don’t play mind games or lie thinking that you can just use and lie to someone, then block them right after you get what you want. No one wants to be someone’s flavour of the day or week if they’re looking for something more meaningful or longterm. Think before you act. Be a good person. “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Yes, folks, I repeat, “Do unto others as you wish to be done unto you.” Care about your imprint in this world, the impact you make, and about the shadows that follow you. Be a role model and a walking, living, breathing inspiration to others.
There are people in life who I consider to be so inspiring and uplifting, and they have so much humility and kindness that they probably aren’t even aware of the beauty and the light that they shed on me and others every single day that people cross their path. I go to my gym every day, and I see a million faces. But this one particular face inspires me, motivates me, and speaks to me with the light of God. His kind words always show true enlightenment and cheer me up at the right moments. We can all be an inspiration to others. We all have the power to uplift those around us and to care how we affect those around us whether we know them personally or whether they’re just another face, just another swipe. Please keep this in mind as you look for your match using online dating.