These days, so many singles are staying single for longer than they would be, and mainly because of a couple of things. In this article, I wanted to go over those reasons why this is happening, and how it can be prevented. In a nutshell, many of us are believing what we want to believe, and listening to what makes us feel safe. When we should be listening to the reality of what people are saying directly, as well as watching theirs actions and what they do.
It’s imperative that we speak from our hearts, speak the truth, and go into situations with pure and honest intentions. We should never mislead people, manipulate situations so that we get what we want, or hurt people intentionally or unintentionally with what we say or do. But unfortunately, many people hurt others, and it doesn’t really matter whether their intentions were to do that or not.
We can very easily prevent hurting other people when it comes to dating or exploring romantic situations, by being honest and direct. But also, by being selfless to a certain extent. You see, when we’re selfless, we tend to care about others and have enough empathy and love in our hearts, that we don’t want to hurt anyone else. Therefore, we should be more honest about what we want to ourselves and to other people, so we don’t end up playing with someone’s heart or emotions. And we should be direct and tell people we date our true intentions, rather than mislead them for our own personal agendas.
I want to explain why I wrote the title that I did for this article. I’m not sure if any of you have had passion fruit—it’s amazing, you should. But the word itself contains the word “passion” which is a loving thing. This is the reason why I’ve chosen this fruit in particular. Many times, we give our love and our passion to the wrong people, because we want something or someone so bad. And many times, we’ll even go to the extent of creating a situation for ourselves or exploring something with someone romantically, when we shouldn’t.
Many times, we believe what we want to believe, despite when a person is direct and honest with us about their intentions and what they want. If someone says that they don’t know what they want out of life or in regards to being romantic with you, having a family, wanting children or not, or if they’re just looking to have fun and see what happens, etc., you need to believe them.
Don’t waste your time when someone says that they don’t know what they want. Knowing what you want is mandatory if you’re thinking about exploring a situation with someone. And this especially goes for if you know what you want out of life. The last thing that anyone who knows what they want out of life needs, is to be strung along, led on, or get all wound up or confused in a situation with someone, who they’ll end up getting attached to and growing feelings for. When all along, they don’t know what they want from them or perhaps from anyone in a romantic way. When someone’s directly tells you that they don’t know what they want, they mean it, and you should believe them.
When it comes to dating and exploring a new situation, you have to go into it with an open heart. You have to risk getting hurt in order to fall in love. You can’t be scared or afraid to develop feelings for someone or to let your emotions show, because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You’ll never get to know someone on a deeper level that way, and you’ll never fall in love. Therefore, you must be true to yourself and to the other person. When there’s potential with someone, don’t be afraid to be yourself, to be authentic, and to let yourself get closer and more attached to the other person.
Having said that, I must advise that you should not do this, and I repeat, do not do this, if you know for a fact that someone isn’t on the same page with you. In other words, if someone tells you right off the bat that they want different things, that they’re just looking to have fun, or that they don’t know what they want in life or in a partner, or even with you for that matter, do not risk getting hurt. No one needs to go through any unnecessary pain in life. And as most of us know or should know, the pain that you feel in your soul and the feelings that you feel inside are much stronger than any physical or superficial pain on your exterior. Don’t risk getting hurt for someone who isn’t risking the same for you.
The lines people are using these days are getting worse and worse.
“We’re both adults, we can do what we want.”
“Just let go, and stop thinking so much.”
“Just let it happen and if it feels right…”
Really? Guys, girls… think! Think before you act. Think before you talk. Think of consequences. Do unto others… People say things to get what they want, regardless of knowing that they’re intentions aren’t pure. And they even do so, when they’re well aware of the fact that what the other person wants is different. People don’t always care or think about how their actions and how what they do or say will affect others—as long as they get what they want. Don’t fall for a player or someone who’s selfish enough to only put their wants, needs, and lustful desires ahead of your feelings. Many people will tell you what they think you will need to know or hear to get what they want. They’ll string you along during their attempt to keep trying to gain your trust, so that you’ll become intimate with them. Sad, but so very true.
“We’re both adults,” is one of the biggest manipulating lines I’ve heard yet. Many people use this line when they know that you like them, and they use your feelings to their advantage. Again, another type who you shouldn’t risk getting hurt for. Do not, I repeat, do not date or by any means hook up or get too close with someone who wants to get intimate or too close before your equally emotionally connected and have built some sort of foundation and are completely exclusive (if that’s what you want). When people start using ridiculous lines like the ones I shared or any others, consider tossing your little black book or clean out your contact list and start over. Next!
If someone doesn’t know if they want a relationship, a family, kids in the future, monogamy, exclusivity, or any of the same things that you want in your life that are important to you, don’t settle for that person. Don’t stick around, letting yourself get more and more attached. And don’t let yourself develop more passionate feelings for this person who you know might never come around. People don’t always change and they usually don’t end up growing more attached to you on a deeper level in a romantic way, by you hanging around longer or by you developing deeper feelings for them.
In the same manner that we shouldn’t date anyone who’s emotionally unavailable or emotionally not ready to date, we shouldn’t risk our hearts feeling hurt or experiencing any pain by being with someone who doesn’t even know what they want. Save your passion fruit, save your love, and all of those beautiful emotions for that one special someone who you’re destined to be with. Save your love for your true love, your one and only, and the person who you’re meant to be with. Don’t waste your love and your emotions on the wrong person or on that someone who is being direct with you and telling you that they want different things or that they don’t know what they want with you.
Sometimes you need to be selfish and think of yourself first. Let me rephrase that—you should always think of your own feelings first, because you need to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. But that doesn’t mean that you should be selfish , cruel, or heartless to others. Being insensitive is never the way to go. Be good to yourself by remembering that you deserve to be happy and to be loved by someone. And especially if you’re the loving and giving type of person, who generally loves all people. Save that passion fruit kind a love for your one and only, and that’s what’s going to make it special at the end of the day. Your love and what you have to offer another has value, don’t forget it.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- 27 Ways to Know You’re With the Right Person - April 21, 2018
- Dating Advice – Why Mind Games Are a Waste of Time - April 13, 2018
- Dating Advice – Why It’s Important to Follow Through With Your Intentions - April 7, 2018