Recently Separated: Don’t Even Think About It!


Every promising, new situation should have the feelings of hope, happiness, excitement, closeness, and love. To have much success in all of these things, it’s imperative that you date people as individuals, and treat relationships as if they have a fresh, clean slate.Comparing people to others that you’ve previously dated is never a good thing, and it can only cause harm to your new situation. Don’t let your past drag your present and future down.


Don’t bring in baggage from your previous relationships. If you have residual feelings for someone from your past by any means, you need to be clear about it to your partner, and stop dating them immediately. No one deserves to be hurt or experience pain in any way, and especially when it can be avoided. If your heart isn’t fully open and ready to embrace the love and happiness with someone new, don’t act as if you’re open to it. As well, if that’s the case and you realize that your heart isn’t open to loving someone new, don’t mislead someone by having them wait around, and keep dating you, but at your pace. If someone isn’t ready to date you, isn’t over their ex, and doesn’t have an open heart right now, don’t date them. If you do, you can only blame yourself for any heartache that you’ll experience.


If you date someone who isn’t ready, they’ll likely be comparing you to the person that they were with previously. Whether they were the ones who broke up with the other person or vice versa, the issues for why they broke up and what their previous relationship lacked will be what they compare you and your new relationship to. In other words, it’s irrelevant whether they ended their previous relationship or if someone else ended it with them. The reason being is simply because they either felt heartache and pain from being broken up with or they experienced what a relationship shouldn’t have and what they don’t want to happen in their next relationship.


This is why someone who is recently separated or just got out of a relationship is never a good option when it comes to dating. People need time to heal from previous relationships that didn’t work out. If a lot of time has passed, and a person still doesn’t have an open heart to love someone new, they need to work on themselves and on letting go. That’s not something you can help them with. They need to do the work and heal.


I don’t believe that it takes someone new and incredible to help someone get over an ex. I know that many people feel differently, and there are many articles expressing how one should date and find someone new in order to get over an ex. I couldn’t disagree with that anymore than I do. I don’t believe that people who are emotionally unavailable in any way should be out in the dating scene. There’s nothing more painful than being misled, falling in love with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, or getting your hopes up by someone who’s simply not open to loving you.


It’s important for emotionally unavailable people who feel entitled to be in the dating scene and date people in order to try and get over an ex to become more self aware and sensitive to others. They should work on strengthening themselves from within, and becoming self-aware enough not to cause others any unnecessary pain, heartache, or turbulence. It’s important to think of the consequences before doing things in life, because sometimes the damage will not only cause someone else pain and distress, but it could cause you pain and distress as well.

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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