Many of us are hoping to find our one and only, that one special someone, our one true love. And then many others are simply hoping to find a great connection with someone to spend time with. We all have different motives for going on dates. But one thing that everyone has in common when it comes to dating someone, is that there’s a certain type of person to avoid in dating and in your life. This is why I wanted to create a list that’s easy to read and to keep as a little reminder for those who are hoping to find someone to date.
The following are the types of people you shouldn’t date.
1. Bad crazy
In case you haven’t heard yet, there’s good crazy and bad crazy. The good crazy people are the types who like to have fun, but not in a negative way. They’re the spontaneous types who enjoy life and live to the fullest. They let their hair down, they’ll act silly for no particular reason, they’re quirky and fun, and they can usually make you smile with their little idiosyncrasies, and their cute and sometimes surprising ways of thinking and doing things. But then there are the types who are bad crazy, who bring out the worst in you, who will make you walk on eggshells, who are completely unpredictable, unstable, and who feed off of drama each and every day.
It’s important to avoid people who are bad crazy because there is no light at the end of the tunnel with this type of person, and it’s usually going to be a very unhappy situation, despite that at times, there might be good times with them. Don’t sweep this red flag under the rug and think that it’s O.K. to date a bad crazy person simply because of all of their other great qualities. It’s one thing to see the good in someone and to appreciate all of their beautiful qualities, but it’s another thing to date someone who’s a beautiful person, but who has a tremendous amount of unresolved issues and has those crazy eyes that we should all avoid.
2. Unhappy people
We all have good days and bad days, happy moments, sad moments, and we even get upset at times. People have many different emotions each and every day. But if the person you’re thinking of dating is predominately unhappy with themselves or in their lives, you shouldn’t date them. It’s important to be a whole person and to feel good about yourself and be happy in your life before you date anyone else. Like the good book says, you must love yourself first before you’re able to love another. Someone who’s unhappy will drain your energy, kill your enthusiasm, destroy your inspiration, and make you also feel unmotivated and miserable. It’s true what they say, that misery loves company, and dating this type of person will definitely bring more misery.
3. Selfish people
It’s imperative to be with the type of person who is selfless and cares about your wants and needs as much as their own, if not more. Many people are very selfish in their lives and also when it comes to dating someone. The selfish type will never consider your feelings, your wants, your needs, or your desires in life. There should always be a healthy balance between what both people want when you’re dating or in a relationship. A selfish person will always put your wants and needs last, and sometimes, they’ll never even consider your wants and needs at all.
4. People who lack empathy
This one is a huge red flag for me personally, and I’m sure for many others as well. When someone lacks empathy, they’re also very selfish, and they don’t see things from anyone else’s perspective other than their own. They’ve either never been through a hard time in life or they simply can’t relate or understand anything about human kindness and empathy. Kindness is imperative in every aspect of your life and should be a big part of your dating life, social life, and in any relationship that you might have. It’s important to find the type of person who matches your level of empathy when it comes to dating so that you can walk hand-in-hand and give back to the world and to others who are in need.
5. People who don’t like children or animals
When someone doesn’t have a warm and sensitive heart, they’re usually unable to love. If someone can’t love an innocent child or an animal, they likely lack empathy, and they might even struggle with loving another person. It’s important to date the type of person who has a big heart and who appreciates all of God’s creations. It’s one thing to be afraid of an animal or not to want to have kids of your own, but it’s another thing when someone is negative in general about children and animals and who despises those who have them.
6. People who are separated or married
I wrote an article about this one previously and despite some of the hate mail that I received as well as the fact that many separated people disagreed with me, my opinion stands. I don’t believe it’s a wise choice to date someone who is married obviously, but as far as someone who’s separated, I feel the same way, because they’re simply not ready until their past is closed. And yes, all doors should be fully closed. People tell you many things and want you to understand where they’re coming from when it comes to being separated and ready to date. But the truth remains, and that’s the fact that until someone is completely single, you shouldn’t date them. Otherwise, there will likely be a tremendous amount of drama, talking about their ex or soon-to-be ex, and many open wounds that might remain.
There’s something to be said about a new situation, having a clean slate, and not bringing any drama from your past into a new situation if you can prevent it. If someone wants to date you badly enough, they’ll come back around when you’re they’re fully single. Despite the fact that many people will lie and tell you what you need to here so that you’ll date them, many times you have to use your instinct and know that despite what someone might tell you—that they might be single, sleeping on the couch, not sleeping with their soon to be ex although still living in the same home, living separately, that they filed divorce papers, and all else, you have to do what’s best for you. Until someone is actually single, they’re not really single.
Something that I truly don’t understand is why there are so many married and separated people in online dating sites. This is something that has become quite common as well as truly absurd. If someone is separated or recently out of a relationship, they need time to heal and work on themselves before putting themselves out there. You see, all they’re going to end up doing by dating too soon is leading someone on, hurting someone, or getting someone attached to them when they aren’t truly ready to be dating at all. Many of them are emotionally unavailable or in denial of being emotionally unavailable.
7. People who are rude to workers
When someone doesn’t give the same kindness, respect, and courtesy to someone merely because they have a job that they feel is beneath them, don’t date them. Some people feel that workers are obligated, just there to serve them, and somehow owe them something, so they treat them poorly, and with little to no respect. When someone is rude to waiters or any type of staff who they’ve hired to work for them or who serves them in any way, don’t date them. This is a huge red flag. This says a lot about a person and you should truly be cautious of not only dating this type but of having this type of person in your life. You should surround yourself with like-minded individuals who care about other people’s feelings as well as how others are treated.