The Desire for Perfection

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A perfectionistic mindset exists for many. Whether it’s someone’s personal goal to be perfect or whether they’re searching for their perfect match, the end result is usually unhappiness. On one hand, being a perfectionist can be like setting the bar high, wanting to be our best, and striving towards one’s goals in life. But on the other hand, people that desire perfection are usually so hard on themselves that they don’t truly enjoy anything in life or throughout their journey. 


It’s important to love and embrace your life and enjoy the moment as you strive towards your goals, and not just patiently or impatiently long for the end result, and assume that you’ll feel happy at that point. You won’t be. The truth is, there is no end result or finish line in life. The only finish line in life is when we’re dead. It’s important to enjoy our journey, and not to be so hard on ourselves. 


It’s great to have a high goals and strive towards achieving them. But if you’re not going to enjoy the process or even celebrate the small achievements that you’ll experience throughout your journey, you’re going to be missing out on a lot, and you likely won’t feel like a happy and fulfilled person. Remember, happiness is key. Feel good and be happy after each and every achievement that you have in life, whether great or small. It’s important to enjoy and embrace all of the little things in life. Many times it’s those little things and fine details that hold the most beauty. This goes for everything from people, to nature, and even when it comes to doing sweet gestures from the heart. It’s about a person’s soul. It’s about the thought that goes into things. It’s about the effort and love that people give. 


Finding a partner should never be routed from the superficial things in life like beauty, money, or lifestyle and fame. Those things are frosting, not the cake. It would be great if we could all just rid ourselves from being superficial. But I think that we’re all so used to people being a little more or less hungry for perfection and luxurious or superficial desires. The problem is that frosting isn’t perfection, and in no way, shape, or form should any of those things be mandatory when looking for love. They’re just empty, lustful, and superficial desires that will lead people astray to short term light, and ultimately, long term darkness. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Neither do good looks. It’s not a rumour – it’s true. Love, laughter, and kindness bring happiness. These are a few of my essentials to have in a partner. This is likely why I find being humble to be one of the most appealing and attractive qualities you can find in a person. Ah, the simple life. Does it exist? 


Many people have certain requirements or desires that they look for when it comes to finding their best possible match. We all like what we like, and we all want what we want. But having unrealistic and unreasonable expectations is just setting yourself up for ultimate failure. It’s imperative to know what you want in a relationship and in a partner. And although most of us like what we like, we need to be somewhat realistic and know when to compromise. There’s no perfect person, and you’re never going to be happy all of the time. 


Relationships usually involve accepting the good with the bad in a person. No one is going to be all good, and just the same, no one is going to be all bad. What’s important is to find a match that best suits you, your needs, your lifestyle, and where you feel close and comfortable enough to a person that you can develop a friendship within your relationship. Having great communication is everything, but it’s also important to share enough common interests with one another, and acknowledge, but admire your differences. Although I do believe in soulmates, even though at times I question it, I don’t really feel that we have a twin in life where we’re completely identical to another person. So if you’re the type that’s looking for someone perfect, and even worse, if you’re hoping to find your twin or someone that’s perfect like you, you might be narcissistic, but you also need to be realistic. Perfect doesn’t exist.

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Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.
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