What to Do When You Think Your Partner Is Being Shady


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Part of being in a healthy and happy relationship, is knowing that you can trust your partner. When your relationship is built upon foundation pillars of strength, including good and open communication, honesty, trust, and being selfless, your relationship will not only be healthy and happy, but as a couple, you’ll likely last longer together and thrive. Sometimes, couples don’t trust one another, which brings many issues into their relationship. It’s beyond imperative to know that you can trust one another when you’re in a committed relationship. You need to know that your partner has your back when you’re not around, that you can count on them, that they keep their word, and that you can trust them with your innermost secrets.


It’s important to be able to know in the depth of your soul that you can trust your partner with whatever you say, and to know that not only they won’t judge you or put you down for how you feel, think, or from what you share, but that you can trust that they won’t share what you tell them with other people, especially, when you let them know that it’s confidential. Some things are meant to be kept private. And then some things you’d like to be kept private, but you’d like your partner to know about them. When you tell your partner that something is meant to be kept a secret, they should keep it a secret, but you should also trust that they will keep their word.


One of the biggest problems that I’ve seen in the dating scene, is that when couples don’t trust each other, or one person doesn’t trust the other, they start snooping and becoming some sort of sleuth. They might even start looking through all of their things, including their phone, their belongings, and possibly even their Google search history if they can get to it. However, doing this, can cause a great deal of damage to the couple, because it shows lack of trust.


If you don’t trust your partner, you have to ask yourself why you feel that way. Then you need to make sure that your reasons are logical, rather than emotional and that you’re not simply being an over-thinker who’s completely irrational. And if you realize that you are being logical and that you have legit concerns, you should communicate your thoughts with your partner, rather than going through all of their private belongings.


It’s important to know that we can trust each other when we’re in a relationship, and that even when we’re an open book and when we don’t care whether or not our partner looks through all of our stuff, we shouldn’t have to search or become detectives. Besides, many times we end up opening up Pandora’s box and finding out things that will lead to many issues that never would’ve been issues if we weren’t such a snoop. And I do believe that couples should be an open book, leave their phones on the table when they go to the restroom, and that the other person should feel comfortable to go through their things. But at the same time, just because you can do certain things, it doesn’t mean that you should.


Everyone wants to have a certain amount of privacy, even if they’re an open book. You shouldn’t have to search through your partner’s belongings to find out whether or not they’re being shady or unfaithful. If you think your partner is being shady and unfaithful, then you should ask yourself if perhaps you’re the one who is having trust issues, possibly routed from your past somehow, and whether or not there’s really a reason to be untrusting of your partner. Sometimes it’s all in our heads and we create issues that aren’t really issues. Don’t let your mind play tricks on you, and don’t create problems that would never have been problems if you simply communicated how you feel to your partner.


If you want to know something bad enough, if you’re having doubts, and if you’re having some sort of trust issues with your partner, all you have to do, is tell your partner how you’re feeling and let them know what’s going through your mind, rather than becoming a detective. Having trust in a relationship is imperative, and without it, your relationship will fall apart. So the best way to prevent your relationship from having trust issues, is to set an example by being honest yourself, as well as by being an open book, and then by working on communicating your feelings with your partner when you have any concerns.


Nip things in the bud when you have doubts or concerns, and address issues right when they happen, rather than letting things build up in your mind, and creating problems that might turn into something bigger. Last but not least, if you care enough about your relationship and your partner, you should continuously and always be willing to work on improving yourself and your relationship. And part of doing that, means being the best version of yourself, trusting your partner, and giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

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One thought on “What to Do When You Think Your Partner Is Being Shady

  1. This is so very true, trust is huge in a relationship. And you have a gut feeling when you just know that a person is up to something. It’s easy now to sort of be virally sneaky via social media as well as texting, too. Communication is huge and if you can’t trust someone, it’s hard to see the relationship lasting.

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