Tolerating Your Partner, When Enough Is Enough

tolerating-your-partner-when-enough-is-enough


When you get to the point in a relationship where you feel that you’re simply “tolerating” being around your partner, it can unbearable. When you get to the point where even hearing things that they have to say become incredibly annoying or feel like a nuisance, it can be utterly deflating, and create a tremendous amount of misery for you. It’s not only going to feel deflating and miserable to you, but your partner’s likely going pick up on your energy, and no one is going to be happy. 


You’re probably thinking, “Why would anyone be in a relationship where they feel that miserable that they can’t even bear to listen to or be around their partner?” Well, unfortunately many people are in relationships as such. It’s important to pick your best match when it comes to being in a happy relationship. If you settle for the wrong person or someone that’s “almost” what you want, you’re bound to eventually get annoyed by your partner. 


This especially goes for when people end up marrying someone that they’re not passionately in love with. Sometimes people get pressured into taking the next step or even get to the point where they become tired of dating and just want to settle down. You definitely shouldn’t settle, because anything that you do in life where you “just want to get it over with,” doesn’t work. At least, not in a way that will provide long term happiness.


Patience is everything when it comes to being in the dating scene and hoping to meet your best possible match. It takes time, patience, and giving only those promising situations a chance, as opposed to the situations that might seem fun or exciting, giving you a thrill for a mere moment’s pleasure. You shouldn’t waste your time or other people’s time when it comes to dating. No one wants to be someone the their partner’s going to settle for.


Sometimes people feel that maybe they’re expecting too much, and maybe they need to lower their expectations of what they want in order to find that special someone. On the contrary, it really depends on one’s expectations, because many times people’s expectations aren’t really all that high to begin with. Many people just haven’t found their match yet, and it takes time. You can’t get everything that you want in life by snapping your fingers or demanding it. Sometimes it’s about being in the right place at the right time or even just putting yourself out there into the world.


There are many ways that you can meet people in every community that you live. You can meet someone that you might fall madly in love with anywhere from a coffee shop to a bookstore, to an event, and even on your trip to the grocery store. It’s all about putting yourself out there in a way where you always look your best, feel your best, and stay confident and optimistic towards meeting new people. Make sure that you’re giving off a striking, yet positive vibe of being self-confident, happy, and approachable.


Being approachable is everything when it comes to having someone come up and talk to you, let alone date you. But the worst thing that you can do is settle for the wrong person or be in a situation where you feel like you’re “tolerating” someone because they’re not only someone you feel incompatible with, but you don’t get along, and it’s even gotten to the point where they annoy you.


If you’re with a partner that annoys you, you’re likely going to be feeling miserable, and wanting a way out. This is the main reason that you shouldn’t settle. You should marry your best friend, and if marriage isn’t something that you’re hoping for, then be in a relationship with your best friend. The most important thing for couples to make sure of is that they like the person that they’re with. You can’t spend your time or even more importantly, your life with someone that you find to be annoying or a nuisance.


If you’re dating someone and you feel like you’re tolerating their very existence, and you’re even getting to the point where you want to avoid seeing them or having contact with them, you might want to rethink the situation altogether. The point of life is to be happy, and if we’re not happy in our relationships, then we’re not gonna be happy in our life. If you feel that you’re tolerating someone, then you’re likely with the wrong match – period.


Many different forums or advice columns might tell you that couples should work on improving their relationship when they’re at the point of getting annoyed by their partner. Unless they’re married already, I beg to differ from what most of those columns would suggest. They’d say to give yourself a little space, a vacation, and some time apart to see if you miss the other person. I just feel that that’s a waste of time – while you could be dating or spending time developing a relationship with someone that you actually like and feel compatible with.


True love is one thing that you’ll never have to force. Someone that you feel true passion with and lust for, you’re not gonna get tired or annoyed from. Now when it comes to married couples that get under each other’s skin once in awhile or even quite often for that matter, there are definitely things that you can do to keep the fire and passion alive in your marriage. But most of them I’d have to say are in the bedroom, regarding closeness, and spicing up your romantic life as well.


Last but not least, if you’re dating someone or in a relationship with the person, and you feel unhappy, you need to communicate your feelings to your partner, and either try to improve it, or find someone that will bring out the best in you, and make you feel happier. Being used to someone is not a good excuse to stay with them. Being in love is the only reason.

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Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.
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