An Open Letter To Ben Freig


When my newest article, “How You Know It’s The Real Thing” was posted earlier tonight, a guy by the name of Ben Frieg left a comment. He wrote, “I almost don’t believe it (the real thing) exists anymore.” Which bummed me out a little bit. Even more than I already was, to be honest with you. I wish I could elaborate, but I can’t. Suffice it to say, I had to lock all the sharp objects in the house after that.

Under normal circumstances, I’d probably be up to my armpits in Guinness by now, but somebody needs my help. So Ben, this one is for you. 

Listen, man- I know it’s easy to be cynical about love. I know what it feels like to be lonely and to look around at happy couples and think you’re going to die alone. But here’s the thing- it’s not going to happen. Everyone goes through these phases. It’s normal.

The thing is, it’s in these moments when you have to look around and appreciate all the good things in life- whether it’s your family, your friends, or even if it’s just watching the sun fading out on the horizon at the beach. And if all else fails, remember that most strip clubs now have a surprisingly good buffet.

I’m kidding. Mostly.

What you’re feeling right now is only temporary, and you can’t let this melancholy take root in your heart, bud. Trust me, somewhere out there is a girl who will dig you for everything you are.

If I can give you advice on how to find her, it’s easy- stop looking. Live your life in the meantime. Have fun. Believe me, before long, she will show up. And you’ll know it because your instincts will scream at you to go after her.

The thing is, when you meet her, don’t try to turn her into the perfect girl. You’ll know she’s the one because you won’t give a shit about her imperfections, and you wanna know why? Because her imperfections will only make her more perfect in your eyes.

I ain’t gonna lie to you- the ‘fairytale‘ theory of romance is bullshit. Every relationship has its pitfalls and problems. The trick is that you have to learn which ones are worth the effort. Find a girl who is going to love you for who you are, not one who wants to change you into her ‘ideal man’. If her family and friends can’t accept you and she goes along with them, then she ain’t the one. Never change who you are to make someone happy. But if she makes you happy, you’re gonna change because you want to.

Finding a girl is easy- finding THE girl is a lot harder. Most of the time, it boils down to instincts and timing. In your case, I would suggest using the same instincts you have as a photographer (if you’re wondering how I knew that, I’m a writer and I do my research) and wait until that moment when the perfect shot lines up. Know what I mean?

If you’re reading this, Ben, I want you to know: DON’T GIVE UP HOPE. You got this.

And if you ever need a little help, feel free to call on me. Once upon a time, I was a pretty good wingman. I’ll get you in the saddle! (One more thing- keep away from J-Date. That website has some scary women on it. Eeek!)

(Oh, and for any ladies reading this who want to give Ben a shot, leave a comment or you can send me a message here on ACW!)

Just remember to invite me to the wedding, okay? Good luck!


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