How to Stay Motivated in a Relationship, Even When It Feels Tough

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Financial difficulties, infidelity, unexpected health concerns, and marital boredom are just some of the many challenges that can affect marriage today.


These can eat away at your happiness and may even damage the trust in your relationship. And once trust has been betrayed, it can be nearly impossible to get back.


But your marriage is worth fighting for. If you have the patience and power to get through difficult times, you will strengthen your relationship against any future trials that come your way.


Maintaining a healthy marriage isn’t always easy.


In fact, sometimes it’s downright hard. That’s why we’re giving you 5 pieces of relationship advice on how to stay motivated to keep going in your marriage – even when it feels impossible to do so.


1. Focus on the “Why”


Whether you are facing outside stresses or your source of hardship is within your own relationship, it’s important to remember why you are together in the first place.


Right now you are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. You may feel hurt or betrayed by your spouse. You may be wondering why you’re even trying to strengthen your relationship when things are this hard.


The answer is this – Because it made you happy. And if it used to make you happy, with a little time and attention, it can make you happy again.


Instead of fixating on everything wrong with your relationship, focus on the good. This can help you train your brain to think positively about the future of your marriage.


2. Make Date Night a Thing


By now you’ve probably heard about the wonders of date night. Perhaps you’ve read relationship advice articles about the many benefits of date night and rolled your eyes, thinking, “That could never work for me and my partner.”


Don’t write date night off as some magical relationship fairy! The results are real.


Studies show that couples who have a regular date night are more likely to put one another first when making decisions. They also have better communication skills, increased sexual satisfaction, and are less likely to get a divorce.


Having a regular date night gives couples a chance to reconnect outside of work or parental environment. They get to know each other as friends and lovers again in a private, fun, and romantic setting – away from the kids!


Planning a date night can be just as much fun as living out the date. Planning out what you want to do can be considered mini-bonding time with your spouse. It also gives couples something to look forward to.


Some great ideas for a date night include:

  • Dinner and a movie
  • Fancy drinks and desserts at a romantic piano bar
  • Meeting up at a hotel bar as “strangers” and seeing if you can “pick each other up”
  • Going to an amusement park
  • Preparing a picnic in a beautiful garden
  • Asking get-to-know-you questions at home over a bottle of wine
  • Learn something new together(such as an instrument or by taking a language class)
  • Play a sport together
  • Go see a live show
  • Head to the beach for some swimming and sunning
  • Whatever you choose to do together, make sure there is an equal balance of spending quality time together talking and engaging in an activity that will help boost marital excitement.


3. Learn How to Be a Team


While it can be difficult to want to cooperate and work together with a spouse who is driving you bananas, the benefits outweigh the struggle.


When you work as a team with your spouse, you both share the same goal. You work as a team when you move a couch across the living room together, when you play basketball in the driveway, and certainly when you’re in an argument.


Being teammates during conflict probably isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you’re arguing, but it is the most beneficial decision. Instead of tearing down one another or using an argument as an excuse for saying hurtful things, you will make finding a solution to your problem your main goal.


Working together as a team is some of the best relationship advice you can follow. It helps you get out of your own head and take the time to understand your partner’s point of view.


Remember, there is no “I” in a team.


4. Take a Marriage Course


Some couples stay together for decades without ever truly understanding one another. Naturally, such an educational gap can cause undue stress and challenges in your relationship.


If you want to strengthen your relationship, you must learn to understand your spouse. You should get to know their customs, goals, and beliefs.


One big piece of relationship advice is not to discount marriage therapy. Whether you take an online marriage course as a couple or attend an in-person session on your own, the results will be mind-blowing.


When you devote time to meditate on your spouse and the relationship you’ve created together, you get to see things from a whole new perspective. Taking an online marriage course will help you build stronger intimacy, navigate personal challenges, and deepen your communication.


5. Focus on Sexual Intimacy


Sex isn’t everything in a marriage, and it certainly isn’t a Band-Aid for real problems, but it can definitely strengthen your relationship.


A great piece of relationship advice about sex is to go slow.


Be mindful in your sex life and learn to enjoy the moments you’re sharing with your spouse. Focus on building emotional intimacy and pleasuring your partner.


This can be highly beneficial for a marriage on the rocks, as studies reveal that the oxytocin released during sexual intimacy has been proven to reduce stress, increase trust, promote bonding, and boost partner satisfaction.


Does Your Marriage Feel Overwhelming at Times? This Is Natural.


The good news is that you can strengthen your relationship to overcome the trials that life throws your way. Build trust, keep a positive attitude, always communicate with your spouse, and learn to work together as a team.


By following these 5 pieces of relationship advice, you can overcome hardship in your marriage.

Sylvia Smith

Relationship Writer at Marriage.com
Sylvia Smith is a writer who likes to write about relationships and how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She is currently associated with Marriage.com. She is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt its principles in their relationships. By taking purposeful and intentional action, Sylvia feels any relationship or marriage can be transformed and truly enjoyed.

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