Perhaps it’s not your cup of tea or something that you follow, but the most popular drag queen in the world at the moment, Ru Paul, has a saying that goes “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?” And even though you might not be in favor of such TV shows, there is a truth to this saying. But what exactly is loving yourself? Is it treating yourself once in a while to a new skirt, jeans or a mani-pedi? No, loving yourself and practicing self-love is much more than that. Take a break-up for example – how do you survive it? Do you lie in bed all day crying your hearts out while listening to Lana Del Rey or Celine Dion? Take a look and see how to find the self that is worth loving and eventually become much more satisfied and happy human being.
1. Find your inner voice
Are you hard on yourself when something that you do doesn’t turn out the way that you imagined? Well, it’s time to stop doing that. Finding your inner voice and listening to what it is saying to you is the first step towards self-love. It doesn’t really matter if you failed, get up back on your feet and continue your way through life with your head up high. After all, your inner voice will tell you how much you’re worth and that you are the center of your own universe, and you should act accordingly.
In order to practice this, try to tell give yourself a compliment that first comes to your mind every day when you wake up, every time you make a mistake at work or every time someone is mean to you. The fact that someone bosses you around or tells you different things that you don’t like listening to doesn’t make them true and there are ways to eliminate these nasty thoughts. Try to tell yourself why you did that particular thing and give yourself a good explanation.
2. Treat yourself
No, we’re not talking about buying yourself different things, because that won’t make the problem go away. Treat yourself as a child would, and think only about the positive things that you see around you. Bear in mind that there are things in life that you cannot change, and having in mind the fact that you’ve done all that you could’ve done for a certain situation is really something that should distance you from negative comments. Moreover, don’t think a lot about what other people say to you.
Each and every one of us has insecurities, and it might be your belly fat or your breast size, but it’s 2018, which means that everything is much more tolerable. If the latter is the thing that’s giving you your core insecurities, don’t worry – there is, for example, a wide variety of excellent G cup bras that haven’t been there before. On the other hand, belly fat can also be fixed. This means that the world is slowly changing and becoming more and more tolerant, and you should too. Do you think a child would care about the fact that they don’t look or behave like other children? Definitely not. And the bottom line is – we all have a child hidden somewhere deep down, so it’s time to wake them up and let them help us find the self-love that we deserve.
3. Take control of yourself
What’s interesting is the fact that that inner voice that you should find has been there all along, but perhaps you haven’t been listening to it. Bear in mind that our brain is a sneaky little fellow, and all the things that you’re feeding it will very soon become the only truth that it knows. This is why it’s very important to take control of yourself and your inner voice cut down on all the negative comments that you’ve been giving yourself and start focusing on what’s good for you. Next time you catch yourself saying bad things to yourself, block that thought and give yourself a compliment. This is not something that can be changed overnight, but baby steps are crucial here. The first time you stop yourself from thinking negatively about yourself and switch the focus on the positive you’ll see the power that you actually have within you.
We know what you’re thinking – it’s easier said than done. And this is true, as well. However, that doesn’t make success in this department impossible. Remember, the key is in baby steps.