Everyone knows that the people you surround yourself with are important. Your friends are ostensibly the closest to you, apart from your significant other (if you have one). This position is kind of a big deal, at least in my mind. The character of your friends you choose can say something about your own character. They can build you up or tear you down. It is important to pick your friends with your goals for life in mind. If you want to be a specific type of person, you need to choose people who are cut from the same cloth.

Here are 5 reasons you should choose your friends wisely!

1. They are going to know your secrets

You don’t want to spill your deepest darkest secrets to a temporary player in your life, do you? Make sure you know what kind of person you are talking to before you hand them ammo to potentially destroy your life. In order for someone to give you wise advice and counsel, they do need to know the more intimate details of your past, but make sure that the person is actually qualified to be giving wise counsel before you look to them for this level of advice and comfort.

2. They are going to help you choose a spouse

Assuming you haven’t already gotten hitched, or don’t have plans to, your friends are likely going to play a crucial role in you choosing your partner for life. If your friends don’t like your potential mate, you want to be able to trust their judgment. In order to have backup when you make this choice, you need to first make good choices in friendships.

3. They’ll be the ones advising you in difficult times in life

Not only will your friends be helping you to make big decisions like choosing a mate, but they will be there for you if you break up, when someone dies, when you change jobs, and other stressful life events.

You’ll want people to be by your side who are dependable, not flaky. Empathetic and caring, not brash and rude. The kind who will tell you like it is, but only enough to motivate you and not enough to wound.

4. They’ll have the power to build you up (or tear you down)

Your friends, like your family and teachers growing up, become part of your inner voice. They help to shape the narrative you have in your life. If they are toxic, your inner narrative will reflect that. They might tell you that you are fat, or lazy, or stupid, and you may brush it off as a joke, but eventually you’ll find that their words stick somewhere in your mind and you’ve begun repeating them to yourself in your own inner voice. For the sake of your health and happiness, it is important to choose people who are a positive influence rather than a negative one.

5. They’ll influence who you are as a person

I’m fond of the quote by Jim Rohn that says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Looks at the people around you, the friends you have now. Can you say, with certainty, that you are happy being the average of those people? If not, it might be time to choose your friends a little more wisely.