Areas of conflict in marriage tend to follow set patterns. If you get these matters fought out and settled before your marriage, you will spend more time enjoying your spouse and less time working out the difficult issues that commonly arise. Here are 6 fights you should get out of the way before you tie the knot.
1. Separate Bank Accounts or Joint Account?
You should have a frank discussion about how you feel about pooling your salary with another person or whether you would prefer to keep your money in a separate account and contribute a certain amount toward shared expenses like food, a mortgage, insurance, etc. If you work out these disputes ahead of time, you can prevent a lot of bad feelings and quarrels down the road.
2. Spending Level Required For Spouse Consultation
Sharing expenses is an integral part of marriage, but sometimes, one person may want an item that may be outside of your joint budget. If you are able to decide on an amount of money that requires consultation with the other party, you will be able to avoid spending that causes financial difficulty and stress in the marriage.
3. Lots of Kids, A Few Kids, or No Kids?
The decision of whether to have children and how many can cause deep division in a relationship. Individuals bring a great many issues to this decision that can affect the relationship for many years. Couples should discuss their feelings about parenthood honestly and thoroughly, long before they commit to getting married.
4. Signing A Pre-Nup?
Because many individuals choose to marry at a later age in this era, they may have a home, rental property, or a business that involves partners or family members, which can complicate the financial picture. Before you go shopping for engagement rings, do thorough cataloging of your assets to determine whether a pre-nuptial agreement is needed, so you can iron out the legal details
5. Spending the Holidays With Families
Couples should also discuss how they would handle spending holidays with their families. Some families have strong feelings about being together on certain holidays. If you make a workable plan for these times before you get married, you can avoid some serious arguments about where to spend the most important days of the year.
6. Religious Matters
It’s best to explore how each person feels about their religious practice or lack thereof. This matter can be particularly important in reference to children and how they are raised. However, even adults can become resentful of time spent at religious practice or can become unhappy with a spouse who does not share a belief system. Talk about what kind of support you expect and can provide in return.
Good preparation to make that big step into marriage can pay off with fewer areas of conflict and greater satisfaction. If you tackle these six areas of life that often cause couples to have disputes, you will be better able to spend the time enjoying each other and the differences you bring to make the relationship more interesting.
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