Every healthy human being has fetishes and desires. No exceptions and no excuses. We all have our kinks. We all get fired up differently, from role-playing to sexy cams online to outright domination. It’s just that some of us are willing to admit it, while others live in denial. But what exactly is the science behind fetishes, and why do we have them? Why are certain fetishes and desires so much more common than others?
Abnormal Is the New Normal
According to a recent study conducted in the United States, more than 50% of adults regularly enjoy kinky or rough sex. Meanwhile, more than one in three have brought bondage gear, blindfolds, and other BDSM gear into the bedroom.
This means that ‘weird’ and ‘wacky’ fetishes are the new norms for sex. Or, in another way, you’re abnormal (statistically speaking) if you only indulge in vanilla sexual encounters.
All is well and good, but this still doesn’t quite explain why it is that the vast majority of us get a kick out of our kinks.
What Is a Fetish?
The term ‘fetish’ is any sexual activity considered adventurous, unusual, or creative. It concerns anything other than your classic, lights-off-missionary-position copulation.
But even then, it’s an extremely subjective topic. What some consider hugely kinky and adventurous could be boring to someone else. You might think it’s wild to experiment with unusual positions sometimes, while others aren’t happy without ball gags but plugs and nipple clamps in the arena.
Every kink and fetish is unique, and the psychology behind the sexual desires we feel remains a mystery. Though in most instances (with a few exceptions that don’t need to be mentioned), kinks and fetishes are harmless and perfectly healthy.
A Look at Common Fetishes
While the extent to which people indulge in any given fetish varies significantly from one person to the next, the following are some of the most common kinks shared by millions of adults worldwide:
BDSM –bondage, discipline, submission, sadism, and masochism – is perhaps the most widely practiced fetish. Contrary to popular belief, the overwhelming majority of those who practice BDSM don’t actually enjoy pain nor get a kick out of hurting others.
Instead, fetishes like these are about exploring your boundaries and levels of control. Most people (whether they admit it or not) occasionally like to be dominated. Being submissive means relinquishing control and putting it in someone else’s hands. Something that millions of people find incredibly erotic. The same applies in reverse – taking complete control over another person (within sensible limits) can be equally erotic.
Of course, there are extremes of BDSM where things descend into torture and misery, but the other 99.999% of those who practice it are about pursuing pure pleasure.
Leather and Latex
Why do so many people dress up in weather and latex for sex? It’s simple – they like the feel of it, the smell of it, and the way it looks on the skin. For some reason, wearing what’s essentially a second skin is one of the world’s most common kinks.
Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that a second skin is a little like dressing up as someone else or turning yourself into a submissive (or dominating) human sex doll. The science on the whole thing is pretty private cam thin on the ground, but bring leather and latex into the bedroom just once, and it’s easy to see the fuss.
Last up, role-playing has long since transcended weird and wonderful fetish circles to make its way into hundreds of millions of bedrooms worldwide. Role-playing can be anything and everything you want, from simple cosplay to acting out entire theatrical performances.
The appeal of role-playing doesn’t take a genius to understand. With role-playing, you’re allowed to act out the fantasies you’d be unable to fulfill in the real world. Sex with a colleague at work, a hot and heavy encounter with a filthy nurse, or something more questionable.
Role-playing works best when it’s a scenario that focuses on the mutual pleasure of both parties involved. Though, it can also be the romantic gift of a lifetime for someone special, giving them a one-time-only pass to act out something they’ll never get to do again!
- The Guide That Will Help You Understand Fetishes and Desires - November 2, 2022