It’s Time to Get over Your Ex



We should all work on ourselves so that we can be strong, resilient, righteous, loving, selfless, and decent individuals. Having said that, many of us get into relationships that don’t work out, but for some odd reason, many of us also feel the need to hang on and stay in bad relationships and toxic situations. When you know that a situation is bad, and you’re self-aware enough to recognize that this particular person or relationship isn’t good for you and didn’t bring you an adequate amount of happiness, then you shouldn’t be in that situation or even desire to want it back. The problem is that many times we hang on, because we fear being alone or because we get so used to a person. However, staying with someone that’s not right for you isn’t the answer.

You need to get over your ex. You need to start your life, and live in a way that you love yourself enough to recognize, that when something isn’t good for you, you stop it, you end it, you distract yourself, and do whatever you need to, in order to move on. Stop longing to be with a person that doesn’t want to be with you or that isn’t good for you. If we all just listen to our instincts a little bit more, our lives will be much easier, there would be more flow to situations, and things would end, when they’re supposed to end—instead of dragging your feet, hanging on to someone or something that’s not right or good for you, and prolonging feelings and letting them develop and grow, instead of cutting things off when you should.

We all have the power to end a situation, and even to change our thoughts when we know that they’re hurting us. Getting over an ex and going through a breakup is never easy—when they were feelings involved. Many times, it’s not even about the duration of a relationship that you’ve had with someone, but more so, the passion, the time spent with them, and even the amount of love that has grown between two people that’s more of a factor. Having said that, it’s still irrelevant whether you’ve been together for a long period, whether you were madly in love at some point, or whether you still have feelings for a person, because when someone isn’t good for you, you need to get out of that situation and move on with your life.

Don’t hang on to a dead end situation, because it will serve you know purpose, and will likely end up causing you much unneeded misery and stress. If you think about it, when we don’t know someone very well and they say or do something that isn’t nice, we usually just brush it off of our shoulder, move on, and go about our day. Even if someone is self-aware, they’ll have the same type of reaction, although they might read into what the person said or did and wonder if they’re the one to blame—which many times, they’re not. However, when we’re with someone for a long period or when we have certain intense and loving feelings that have developed for someone, it’s harder to brush things off of our shoulders and just go on with our lives. This is why we must be conscious enough to recognize that we have the same exact power within us to go on about our lives when someone has hurt us, when there’s a break up, when someone is toxic and not good for us, and whether we’ve known someone or been with them for a long time, just as much as we would when it’s someone that we don’t know.

We can control so many things within our minds, and yes, even when it comes to our feelings towards another person. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a soul and feelings, or that you shouldn’t feel sad upon the ending of a relationship. Embrace your feelings, and mourn the relationship that ended. However, part of mourning, is getting over something and not hanging onto it or desiring to have it back. This especially goes for relationships that were toxic, negative, and that you know weren’t good for you. Control your thoughts and feelings enough so that you don’t grieve for more than a week or two. It’s irrelevant how long or how passionate your relationship was, because life goes on, and life is definitely too short to feel bad for a long period. Love yourself enough to give yourself a little time to heal, but without hanging on or even being open to going backwards. 

Anne Cohen
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