Finding ‘the One’ Is Not as Hard as You Think, Just Do These 5 Things First


We all hope to find our best possible match in life. But many times, we end up going after the wrong types, and we waste our time dating and exploring relationships with people that we’re not even truly compatible with. When we waste our time investing in relationships that aren’t right for us, we’re missing out on time that we could be spent looking for and investing in the person that we’re actually supposed to be with. So I decided to create a list of things that we can do to increase our chances at finding “the one.”

1. Be Optimistic

It’s imperative to have an open heart, to know what you want, and to have a positive outlook when in your search. If you’re going to be negative or pessimistic, your heart is likely not going to be open or willing to embrace the beauty that you might find in another person. It’s not only important to be open towards getting to know someone on a deeper level, but it’s also important to be optimistic, and to keep an open mind in the process. When you’re negative, you end up looking for perfection, and viewing people’s imperfections as flaws or weaknesses. Remember, no one is going to be perfect, and when we’re optimistic and we keep our hearts and minds open towards getting to know someone on a deeper level, we’ll be much more likely to find the right match. 

2. Rid Yourself of Unnecessary Anxiety

Anxiety is your worst enemy when it comes to finding “the one.” Many times, people are so worried about not having their partner in life, that they end up carrying around excess weight and baggage from all of the anxiety that they’re feeling. It’s important to be optimistic, but also to feel good inside when you’re single. You need to be a whole and complete person before getting into a relationship, so being optimistic alone isn’t going to be enough. Get rid of all of those pointless worries that you’re carrying around, like fearing that you won’t find your match, or fearing that you’re getting too old. Kick your biological clock to the curb if it’s stressing you out. Anxiety is not a sexy trait, so if you’re looking to find “the one,” make sure that you’re not coming across as someone that’s completely stressed out. 

3. Be Approachable

If you’re the type that’s carrying around a bitch face, get rid of it now, and replace it with a pleasant smile. This goes for men as well. Smiling is the most natural way of enhancing a person’s exterior beauty. But also, it’s a great way of coming across as approachable. When you smile, it can be one of the most inviting ways of making another person want to approach you and start up a conversation. So if you’re the type that has a resting bitch face more often than not, save it for your selfies, or post them on Instagram. But in your everyday life, sport a smile so that you’ll come across as approachable, because I’m sure that “the one” for you will be most attracted to a happy and pleasant person. 

4. End All Communication with Exes

You might think that this sounds a bit over-the-top. But let me assure you, it’s one of the best ways of providing a clean slate for “the one” when he or she arrives. Your exes should be left in the past, and that’s why their exes. As well, the past is dead and gone, so you should focus and put your concentration more so on finding your real match, which will be the one that will last forever. Besides, I’m sure that “the one” for you won’t be happy knowing that you’re still in communication with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, or heavens forbid, still communicating with them on a regular basis. You should be willing to provide a clean slate for “the one,” in the same manner that you would hope that he or she will provide one for you.

5. Don’t Go on Pointless Dates

Going on dates when you know that there’s no potential for a future with a person is completely pointless. You’ll be wasting the other person’s time, as well as your own, and it will only hold you back from finding “the one.” And if you’re going on dates with people that you have no intention of seeing again, you’re not only wasting their time, but you could be wasting their money, and possibly even getting their hopes up for something more meaningful. Nothing is as cruel as misleading people into thinking that your intentions are pure. And anyway, when you waste your time going on pointless dates, you could be missing out on or even stalling finding the right match for you. 

Anne Cohen
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