The Self-Destructive Personality Type


There are many people that don’t realize what a great effect their words and actions can have in their lives. Unfortunately, many people tend to let go at all of the wrong times.They act free-spirited when they shouldn’t. Instead of appreciating the people and things that are bringing them joy in life, they create issues and problems that never actually exist. Instead of feeling grateful from what’s provoking so much happiness for them, they feel unworthy of it or of the person for whatever reason. As a result, they subconsciously or consciously sabotage it. 

When people sabotage their relationships, as well as anything that’s of importance to them, they’re doing themselves a disservice in life. Life is beautiful and it’s important to create happiness for yourself and others whenever possible. People that ruin or sabotage good things need to work on self improvement before it starts to run and ruin their hopes at having true happiness in their life. 

This can be truly unfortunate when it comes to relationships. The damage that these types of people will cause could leave them not only alone, but feeling torn up at themselves, as well as from the response of the person that they were in a relationship with. Usually the end result is never happiness, but more so, misery and a low self-esteem. 

It’s imperative to know yourself and to know the strength that you hold from within. When people let their negative emotions take over and run the show so to speak, they end up miserable and alone at times – whether they’re aware of what they’re doing or not. People that sabotage relationships, friendships, or even when it comes to anything of importance to them, they’re doing so because they lack self-esteem, and they have little to no awareness of their self worth. 

When someone tends to sabotage situations, they don’t do so because they don’t care. Trust me when I say this – they not only care, but many times, they care immensely. They might even like or love a person so much, that they put them on a pedestal in their mind, giving them the halo effect, creating this delusion that they’re beyond wonderful, and although they might feel lucky to have this person or thing in their life, they don’t feel worthy of it, so they sabotage it. 

Usually though, they regret what they’ve done and feel remorseful. The problem with someone that sabotages situations and then feels remorse is that many times people don’t have forgiving hearts, and they hold a grudge, bearing no patience or forgiveness in their hearts. Especially, not for someone that would sabotage a beautiful thing, like having them in their life. The fact is, people tend to leave situations when they don’t feel loved. 

You need to get a grip, and realize that if you want to have a beautiful and happy life, you need to stay in control of your emotions. If you want a life in which good, positive, and enlightened people want to be around you, as well as to acquire the ability to hold onto good things that you’ll have in life, then you need to think before you act, and definitely before you put your foot in your mouth and say the wrong things- which could push them away. You can’t expect that someone will want to stick around and be a part of your life if they think you don’t care about them. No one will feel that you care about them if you act or speak without thinking. This especially goes for when people tend to put their foot in their mouth more often than not. 

When someone is self-aware enough to realize that they tend to sabotage situations when things are good, they need to work on improving themselves. We’re all accountable for our own actions in life. Therefore, no one is going to be to blame for your actions, except you. This is a completely destructive action, and needs to be fixed, not merely acknowledged. Don’t destroy a good thing. Appreciate what you have, and even more so, when you tend to see a pattern of toxic behaviour as such. Take control over your words, actions, and ultimately your life. It’s easy to create happiness, but to maintain it takes hard work. But the good thing to know is that you can do it. You’re capable, self aware, and most of all, you deserve it. 


If someone is self-aware enough to recognize this fixable flaw in their personality, and they tell me to be aware of their tendency to destroy a good thing or even that they tend to always sabotage situations at some point, I’d likely respond with this statement: 

“Don’t worry, if you act like a jerk and put your foot in your mouth at times, I’ll treat you like a jerk who puts his foot in his mouth at times. I’ll call you out on your sh… I’ll communicate the issue with you. But I can’t fix the issue, only you can. Being self-aware is not enough. The problem needs to be addressed. It’s only when people actually screw me over that I disappear from their lives forever. So you can remove the fear of losing me from your system. That fear is what’s ultimately provoking you to want to sabotage our relationship. But I can tell you this. When I’ve been in any relationship with someone on a romantic level, or even someone that was a friend or family member, and there was someone doing things to hurt me on any level, emotional or whatever, my partner, boyfriend, or husband at the time wouldn’t want me to keep that person in my life. Therefore, depending on how important I am to you and just how much you want me in your life, you’ll have to work on this issue.” 

Don’t take good things for granted. Appreciate all that you have in life. Especially, the people that love and care for you deeply. You deserve happiness, just as much as the next person. Never think differently. Feeling powerless leads to fear. Many times fear is what makes people self-destructive. Know your worth, know your inner power, and know that you deserve the best in life. So when good things are right before your eyes, don’t let them go by subconsciously pushing them away and destroying it. Hold onto what’s good in your life, and if it’s really good, hold onto it even tighter.

Anne Cohen
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