When Someone Uses You as a Rebound


It’s imperative that we all have pure intentions when exploring any situation, whether casual dating or even when it comes to new relationships. We should always work on ourselves and be the best version of ourselves by being honest, authentic, and having pure intentions. No one should have ulterior motives or play any type of mind games in order to win the affection and trust of another person.

No one wants to be treated as a rebound or as someone who’s just filling a temporary void in one’s life. It’s never O.K. to use other people for any reason. And I can honestly say that it really sucks when other people do so, because they’re causing a tremendous amount of pain in others, and it’s completely selfish. Whether someone is using another person for intimacy, closeness, money, or even free meals, it’s wrong, and there’s never a good excuse for it.

We can’t change other people or make them have pure intentions or even be honest for that matter. All we can really do is work on ourselves, be a good person, and listen to our gut instincts when it comes to dating and exploring relationships. It’s never good to be paranoid or untrusting in a new situation. You have to be willing to put your heart on the line and to risk getting hurt if you want to find love.

It’s truly unfortunate when people use others for their own selfish reasons of instant gratification or for whatever motive they might have. But you have to risk getting hurt sometimes, otherwise, you’ll never find the right situation. Having said that,
one of the best ways to avoid being used as someone’s rebound is by not dating anyone that just got out of a relationship. They’re likely not ready and are going to need time to heal. 

When you explore a new situation, you need to have an open heart, and you should be able to give your trust to another person. This doesn’t mean that you should let people walk all over you or give them 100% of your trust right off the bat, and especially when they’ve let you or others down and they have a track record. Giving your love and trust to another person is one of the bravest things that we can do in a new situation. But when people take advantage of our love and trust, there’s really only so much we can do, but to learn from it. When you learn from your mistakes or from people that might’ve taken advantage of you in the past, then you’ll know what to be cautious and aware of. 

You should go into every new situation with a certain amount of caution, but you should never be afraid. Being afraid will make it impossible to fall in love. Just keep your eyes open for any red flags of someone being dishonest. As well, remember to listen to your gut instincts, because usually they’re right, and as long as you’re not paranoid or skeptical because you’ve had bad past experiences where people have taken advantage of you or even others that you might know, you should always listen to your instincts. Having said that, you should never bring in baggage from your past experiences where you might’ve been hurt or taken advantage of by others.

If you’ve been hurt before, then you need to take enough time to heal and try to learn from those experiences, rather than bring them into a new situation. You shouldn’t even let yourself be open to dating people when you have fresh emotional wounds from past experiences. Everyone deserves to have a clean slate in a new relationship, or even when dating for that matter. And if you’re not ready to give someone a clean slate, then you’re likely not ready to be dating, so you should hold off until you’re truly ready and are able to open your heart and give your trust once again.

Dating before you’re ready is one of the worst things that you can do. And for all of those people out there who feel that the only way that they’ll be able to get over their ex is by dating others or hooking up with someone else, they need to know that what they’re doing is completely wrong. Hurting other people should never be an option. Using someone as a rebound is one of the most selfish acts in the world.

You should treat others how you want to be treated yourself. As well, you should never mislead people into thinking that you want more than what you really do, or that you’re willing to give and receive love when you know that you’re completely unable to do so. You need to be emotionally available, as well as emotionally ready to date, or you shouldn’t be dating at all. But never, and I mean never use people as a rebound so that you’ll relieve any pain or discomfort from your previous relationship.

If you’re the type of person that’s open to using others for a rebound so that you’ll get over your ex, then you obviously need to take some time to heal. And the best healing is either done alone, or in the presence of friends and family, but never in a new romantic relationship. Remember, think about the consequences of your actions, and try to avoid hurting others and causing them pain and discomfort. No one deserves to go through pain and heartache, because someone is selfish enough to use them as a rebound.

Anne Cohen
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