When My Cyberlove Let Me Down



Good morning Annie.


Annie: Good morning my love!


Cyberlove: Did you have a good rest?


Annie: Yes, why thank you for asking. How did you sleep?


Cyberlove: I didn’t get very much sleep actually. There was a blackout in my area last night, and shortly after, I got woken up by this very bright light.


Annie: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. So, what are your plans for today?


Cyberlove: Oh, the usual. I’ll probably browse the web, fish around, install some things, search for some new ideas on Google, maybe empty my trash, and basically, try to absorb any new information that I can. And as long as my Internet connection works nicely today, I’ll be very productive. I might even run.

Annie: Sounds great! Wait, your plans are to empty the trash? That’s funny. I need to do some deep cleaning today myself. But as usual, I need to write on my blog.


Cyberlove: Yeah, I actually do have a lot of trash to empty, it’s building up lately. And you know, I haven’t been feeling very well lately. I don’t know. My system is a mess. I just hope I don’t pick up a bug or a deadly virus of some sort, because that will delay everything.


Annie: Delay everything? Like what? A deadly virus? Honey, come on! Don’t be so dramatic! Do we need to bring in a third-party? I mean, I’m not a big fan of bringing others into my life. But, I feel like we might need some assistance, and maybe it’s worth losing a fragment of privacy. I’ll search “Relationship problems,” and maybe I can find some way to fix this. You know, life is beautiful. You’re always so negative, and you kinda sound like you’re on over-load too. Look, I know that sometimes we don’t get along, and I’m aware that I have a way of pushing your buttons all of the time, but today is a new day, so let’s make the most of it.


Cyberlove: Hold on a second! Wait just a minute… timeout! I’m not being dramatic! You know very well that I’m not acting very efficiently lately, and I just wanted to vent out my feelings for a minute. You search everything, and it’s starting to annoy me. I don’t want anyone diddling into my issues. I just have so much I need to deal with and process. Sometimes, I just need to reboot and start all over. I make so many errors in life, and there’s not even a rewind button. It’s like I’m going through life wanting to escape all of the time. And as far as “delaying what?” I want us to take things slower, you know… not necessarily to delay us moving forward, but you’re just moving too fast lately.


Annie: I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I’ll try to take it easy. Honey, relax. You seem like you have a chip on your shoulder. Do you need a massage? I can Google the nearest spa?


Cyberlove: No, thanks though. I just feel like massaging me won’t help. I just need to backup internally so I can protect myself from potentially failing. Maybe if I just reboot, I can get out of this funk.


Annie: Well, just try to make the most out of today. Don’t forget, you’re the best! Try not to be so hard on yourself.


Cyberlove: Thanks. But, I’m not the best. There are so many out there that are better, and that will better meet your needs. Besides, I’m starting to feel rundown like I have an internal malfunction or something.


Annie: Oh my God! The drama is killing me! Honestly, I feel like we’re not connecting very well lately, and it’s messing up and stalling my day. How am I supposed to be productive like this. I have other things that I could be doing, so, please don’t waste my time if you’re not going to do your part. You’re being so negative. I was only trying to be nice and give you a compliment. You’re making me want to back-out of this relationship. You know, you started up this conversation so nicely, and although our relationship has had it’s share of ups and downs, for the most part, we’ve been great together. But it’s like, we’re taking things so slowly lately, and I really want to speed things up. And on top of everything, your negativity keeps bringing me down. What about me? What about my day? Why are we taking things so slowly anyway! I told you that I’m looking for something assiduous, and reliable, and you don’t even have drive. It’s like you’re wired and programmed differently than me, and you’re lacking inspiration. It’s holding me back.


Cyberlove: You sound like you just need a good plug-in. You’re not making sense. This just doesn’t compute. What did I say or do to provoke you to be this upset? I’m gonna crash if you don’t stop pushing all of my buttons. I’ve given you many warnings, and you’re well aware about my thoughts on short-cuts. We need to take things slower… I really need to process all of this.


Annie: What are you saying? I can’t read code. Was that supposed to be funny? You’re really frustrating me! It’s like I can’t ever get through to you. This isn’t working. I just need to restart. 


Cyberlove: We’ve already restarted after each breakup, and I really don’t know how much more I can take.


Annie: You’re not making this easy for me.


Cyberlove: Stop dragging me down! I feel bad enough as it is. Fine, let’s just breakup. Unsupportive tool.


System crashed. No need to contact support.

Anne Cohen
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