Comparing Your New Love to Your Past Love-And Why You Shouldn’t Do It



Once you know what real love feels like and how someone who truly loves will act towards you, the types of things they will say and do, the tone of their voice when they speak to you, and how your smile seemed to reflect in their eyes when they’d look at you, you’ll never want or accept less if by some chance you didn’t end up together. Not only won’t you want or accept less than that feeling, but you likely will recognize when anything or anyone feels different. The problem is, that we need to understand the we can’t bring back the past, and we can’t let it affect our future in a negative way.

Comparing people is never a good thing when it comes to dating. You can’t go into a new situation if you’re still hung up on your ex. You need to give someone a clean slate and a genuine chance, instead of bringing expectations or comparisons into the picture. Leave your baggage at the door. And if you’re not healed from your past or ready to date on an emotional level and your heart isn’t open, don’t do it. Don’t date. Don’t mislead someone by even going out with them once if you’re not ready. Your relationship will be doomed to fail and you’ll most likely end up hurting the other person.

When it comes to passion, desire, and intimacy, you still shouldn’t compare anyone to an ex or past situation. You should never compare people in any way. Don’t compare yourself to others in business, don’t compare your relationships to others or to the photo-shopped, fake versions of what people want you to believe is a really happy relationship on social media, and do not, I repeat DO NOT compare anyone on an intimate level. Ew, gross! Just don’t do it. Not size, experience, movement, nada.

When we compare the people we date or explore relationships with to people from our past, whether in our own private thoughts or directly to the person, it’s wrong, and frankly, it’s just a very destructive action. When you explore a new situation or date someone new, treat them as a unique individual and give them enough respect and see them as deserving the respect not to compare them. Comparing people doesn’t do anyone any good, and if anything, it can be quite self-destructive.

Whether your ex used to do this or that for you and was amazing at cooking, helping out, better in bed, or perhaps was just all in all very selfless and giving to you, and your current partner or person that you’re dating isn’t those things or perhaps you still don’t know how they are in that regard, when it comes to comparing your new situation to your past one, kill the thought. Point blank, just like that—kill the thought. You’ll only end up either creating problems for yourself emotionally or even to the other person and the promise of a happy relationship will most likely come to an end.

Last but not least, and possibly one of the biggest reasons why you shouldn’t compare your new love to an ex or past situation, is because your new love might end up being way better at much of what you like or possibly so good at so much, that you’d wish you’d kept your mouth shut when comparing early on. Your new love might end up being in a whole other league when it comes to giving you what you need in a partner. I mean think about it, your past love didn’t last, and I’m sure there were good reasons for it. So give new and promising situations a genuine chance by not comparing them to your ex. And you just might, you just might find the happiness and love and treatment that you’d always longed for.

Anne Cohen
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