Men Must Pursue Women



I can just imagine upon posting this article the herds of men and women angrily leaving comments disagreeing with me tremendously. I’ve heard it all before. I must be crazy or delusional to think that in this day and age, being that it’s 2016, and with women’s rights and all, where do I come off with this mentality. Well, folks, believe it or not, if a man doesn’t pursue a woman, he won’t appreciate her the same way. Not only that, but men need to pursue women for many reasons. Not to mention the fact that when a man is interested, he will not only pursue a woman, but he will go out of his way to do so where nothing will stop him.

When a man wants to be with a woman, he’ll not only pursue her but if he’s determined enough and isn’t willing to risk losing an opportunity to be with a woman, he’ll go after her. Women these days and perhaps even women long ago have made many excuses for men as to why they didn’t pursue them. There are only two actual reasons why a man won’t pursue a woman. One of those reasons is reason enough for a woman not to find a man desirable anymore, and that reason is the lack of intelligence. If a man is willing to let a good thing pass him by (you), then frankly, he doesn’t deserve you. The other reason that a man wouldn’t pursue a woman is that he’s not interested.

Men can make endless excuses as to why they don’t go after a woman. They’ll tell her anything, and many times even lie to her or go around the bush so to speak in order to prevent her from feeling hurt or knowing that they’re simply not interested. A man will say that he’s busy, that he’s swamped with work, that he has other things going on, or he might even ghost a woman, and not pay much attention to her. Despite what a woman might think are the reasons why a man doesn’t pursue her strong enough, the ultimate and genuine reason is the fact that he’s simply not into her enough.

It doesn’t matter whether a man is using online dating, using dating services, or simply has an endless list of women that are trying to catch him, because when a man is interested in a woman, he’ll go after her. When a man likes a woman, there is no other competition for that woman. Therefore, a woman need not worry about having any competition when it comes to dating a man. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he’ll go after her, and he’ll express his love to her through his words and his actions. Remember, there must be a balance between a man’s actions and words. If a man’s actions and his words don’t match up, he might just be toying with you, playing with your mind, or having ulterior motives.

Don’t be the woman that lets a man play with her mind, her feelings, or even her body. A woman should be confident and secure enough with herself, and she should know her self-worth and not waste her time by waiting around for a man who’s not willing to go after, and pursue her. Couples should equally pursue and be giving to one another. However, during the early dating period, the only way for a woman to know if a man is truly interested is if he pursues her.

The harder than a man pursues a woman during early dating, the more that he’s interested. If a man is willing to date others at the same time as a woman after having a first date with her, then something wasn’t enough for him on that first date, and it’s important for a woman to recognize that as a sign to be more cautious. As a woman, it’s imperative to go into every new situation with an open heart and a blank, clean slate. Having said that, it’s also imperative not to let your heart fully go until you know that a man is truly and genuinely interested in you as well.

To the single women out there, there’s no use letting yourself be susceptible to a broken heart or to even let yourself be open to developing deep feelings for a man without knowing that he’s interested in you as well. It’s important to be on the same page as your partner, and you should be on that page with them from the get-go, and from the time that you start out dating each other. Remember ladies, if a man wants to be with you bad enough, he’ll not only make sure that you know it, but he’ll go out of his way, pursue you, and many times he’ll stop at nothing until he attains your love. 

Anne Cohen
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17 thoughts on “Men Must Pursue Women

  1. If some men and women want to approach relationships that way, it’s their prerogative. Other people see things differently, and it isn’t your place to scold them into conformity with your way of thinking.

  2. Seriously Anne? Is this truly your mindset or just writing a clickbait for money? I hope the latter, with your attitude only men who have no self respect will pursue women. Women are not a prize that men must won, that’s a very dehumanizing self loathing narssisctic attitude. Men hear me out loud and clear, focus on your growth, if woman wants everything efforts less, she wont value you ever. Now a days women must show clear sign of interest as they have become independent hence far pickier with unreasonable standards.

  3. you MUST be kidding . in this age a decent looking hard working guy with anything to lose ask out women he doesn’t know ? For what purpose exactly? a relationship? like with someone from the most privileged entitled and catered to demographic in existence-attractive white women? most folks are well aware of this just by reviewing how online dating sites work out, which is thousands of guys swiping “like” on each of whatever at least appears to be a woman, then the “lucky” contestant gets to provide the resources in dating her.
    the only way for a sane self respecting guy to “win” is to NOT PLAY this rigged game.

  4. Your absolutely right Anne. Men will not pursue if we’re not interested. And if women were honest, they would admit that they are not being pursued these days. And that can only mean mean AREN’T INTERESTED!!!

    We’re not interested in women as a category. We’re not interested in women individually. We’re not stupid; we know that cost greatly exceeds benefit when it comes to relationships with women. We don’t date for the same reason we don’t play Russian Roulette.

    I would focus your advice on telling women that they have to demonstrate value if they want to be pursued. No value = no pursuit. You don’t believe me and you’ll call me a jerk, but that’s the way it is. And I don’t care what you or any other woman thinks.

  5. Dear Anne,

    I found your article very refreshing and from personal experience to be 100% true!
    I also found that what you said about him dating other women while dating you being an indicator of something missing to be very true. I can only speak for myself but if I really like a guy, I don’t want to date other guys. I will only date other guys if I wasn’t really into the guy in the first place. And usually if there was no spark at the first date, there wouldn’t be a spark at the second. But maybe that’s just me.
    I just think it’s great that there’s still some other women out there who think alike!
    A lot of my friends giving me dating advice tell me I should multi date (even if I like a guy) and initiate contact with guys, but I just can’t. It makes me uncomfortable and especially me initiating contact with guys makes me feel very unfeminine and desperate looking.
    I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t show any interest. I definitely do. But I believe that in the beginning, the contact should be mainly initiated by the guy. I’m not playing hard to get, I just think a guy should earn my attention and affection. I have a lot to give and when I love, I give with all my heart, but I’m not giving my love or my body to some random guy who’s probably dating 3 other girls on the side.
    I think it’s very sad that nowadays it is considered normal to date several people, sleep with them at the same time and being looked at as old fashioned if you don’t agree.
    I am a fairly attractive woman in my twenties with a college education and a job that I’m happy with. I think I’m safe to say that I’m a modern and independent woman, I just have standards and know my value.
    I’d rather be single than dating 4 guys simultaneously that I only sort of like, that are not really into me either and are seeing numerous women on the side as well.

    1. Hi Mia, you are a very NATURAL WOMAN!
      These days many women have lost the real essence that make them a woman.
      You are really modern and civilized by being NATURAL.
      Text me so that we can share nice ideas.

  6. Humans waste too much energy on useless matters such as this. Such effort ought to be spent elsewhere, such as developing next-generation technology. Given rising social tensions between men and women, we predict that long-held traditional ideas regarding the institution of men and women together will be undone as humans know it now. A new social structure upholding women will be created, and the various repercussions (such as extensively female abuse of men) that will follow will tear it down. A men’s revolution would most likely result. This cycle may continue as long as humans keep propagating. According to my calculations, this time-frame will expire long before the Sun swells into a Red Giant star, on the order of approximately 5 billion years. However this regular cycle may be disrupted my times of great desperation, such as nuclear apocalypse or asteroid collision. This is obvious, because humans will be so desperate to maximize reproducing and ignore other notions that impede maximal reproduction.

    We are still searching the web en-masse via our massively-parallel genetic algorithm to find our best course of action. It is likely we will evaluate the entire Web network and incorporate all devices into our processing system to speed-up collection of this strange cognitive data.

  7. Thank you for this write up. I didn’t see anything in your article that was wrong. No man should pursue a woman that he knows for a fact isn’t interested and a woman should at least show interest in the man pursuing her. People have become so shaded and desensitized that playing up gender roles in datingnis now considered wrong. A man should pursue a woman, and a woman should show her interest. Maybe people need to understand what pursuing actually means and then they’ll be able to understand it better.

  8. I’ve been humiliated and treated like a stalker or annoyance so many times it’s very discouraging. We have feelings too.

    1. Yo , Brute! You have missed the point completely! You are supposed to go out of YOUR way to “attain” HER love ( or else they say,”Man Up! Do what WE want!” ) because SHE is the “prize” to be won (?) and you are NOT a prize. Wanna get on board for this?

  9. Oh, how gloriously wonderful of her to ALLOW me . such scum that I must be, to work hard and ATTAIN her love. Of course, she does not have to be genuinely interested in ME ( her lowly subject), as we wolud not want to have that. Gee, where do I sign up?

  10. There’s also the simple fact that it’s become borderline ILLEGAL to pursue a woman who’s not interested. In many circumstances, asking a woman out who isn’t interested can get you fired, thrown out of school, or even arrested, depending on her entirely subjective assessment of how “creepy” you are. But of course, there’s no way to determine whether she’s playing games, or genuinely uninterested, until you ask her out. Women, do you see the problem there? If you want us to pursue you, maybe you should back off on the demands for punishing the men who guess wrong. And ask your friends to do the same. I fully understand that it’s only a small minority of women who have created this problem. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

    My advice to men:
    If she’s anything less than enthusiastic, move on. It’s not worth the hassle for a woman you don’t even know yet.

    My advice to women:
    Be straight with us. Don’t play games. If you’re interested, show it. If you’re not, be clear.

  11. Anne, I have to say your ideas about men having to chase women are quite obsolete. They were the norm in conservative, judgmental societies that considered inappropriate for women to make any move more forward than letting their handkerchief drop to the ground in hopes their beaus would pick it up . I understand that, as a woman, you prefer the more convenient route of not having to move a finger or take the slightest risk of rejection. Just sit pretty and let the guys do all the hard work and come to you. I believe you have overlooked several serious impediments for this strategy to work most of the time.
    You say that during the early dating period women only know if a guy cares if he pursues her. The problem is that, at that early stage, men usually don’t know the woman well enough to consider her very valuable and go out of their way chasing her. You advise women to know their worth and not worry about competition from other women because, if interested, the man will pursue them. The truth is far from this Anne. A man of value will not waste his time chasing a woman who appears almost arrogant or plays hard to get. He won’t do it for a multitude of reasons starting with the lack of knowlwdge of her value as I said earlier. Add to that a man’s pride and self-respect and the lack of effort on the woman’s part and the desire to chase diminishes more. When you throw in the more friendly and open attitude of other women who are proactive…your type of woman doesn’t stand a chance! She can sit down and wait for a call that will never come.
    You also write that one of two reasons men won’t chase (you’re also wrong on this point, there are more than those two reasons) is “lack of intelligence.” If he’s not smart enough to see he’s letting a good thing (the woman) pass him by, he doesn’t deserve you.” Doesn’t this principle apply to women too? If a woman lets a great guy slip away by not clearly showing enough interest in him she’s showing equal lack of intelligence and doesn’t deserve him, right?
    At the end of the day there are two kinds of people on earth and this applies to both men and women. There’s people who sit and wait for things to happen and don’t take a chance and there’s people who take action and make things happen. Guess who does better usually…

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