I always talk about how we should love ourselves, how we should be our own backbone, that we should be a pillar of strength, and how we should know our self worth and respect ourselves. But sometimes, we can all use a friend. Even when we’re the type of person who is strong and confident, and even enjoys their alone time. Even when a person is someone who you’d never think of as needing anyone, who’s a loner so to speak, and lives their life like they’re in a one man band.
Have you ever thought that when people say that they could “use a friend” during hard times, etc., that the word “use” doesn’t seem to flow gently and lovingly off of your tongue? Well, I’ve always felt that there should be a better way of saying use. Maybe we should just get rid of the word “use” altogether, and perhaps we should say something more along the lines of, “I would really appreciate a friend right now.” I don’t know, maybe that just sounds weird. Either way, sometimes even the strongest and most independent of us all would appreciate a good friend to lift our spirits, to pat our back, to listen to us vent, and to simply tell us that everything is gonna be O.K.
Not wanting to be alone in life doesn’t make someone needy. It’s always nice to have the comfort in knowing that when you’re feeling down and out, or even if you’re just having a bad day or week, oh gosh, or maybe even a bad year, that there’s someone who you can always turn to. Wanting to share your time, your feelings, and to just have a little company once in awhile can be very soothing and comforting regardless of how amazing someone might seem on a regular basis. Needing a friend at times doesn’t define us as needy or desperate. And it doesn’t matter how independent or even successful we might be in our lives, because we all have good days and bad days, and good times and bad times, and sometimes, having a friend who you trust and not having to go through difficult moments all alone can be nice.
When someone isn’t very social, it can be hard to find the type of friendship all of a sudden. I mean think about it, friendships are like any other relationship, and they take a certain amount of time to build, and effort that needs to be put into maintaining. If we don’t have any friends, then we’ll need to be our own friend, but sometimes, that’s just not good enough, and the weight of our problems will feel much heavier. Especially when we never have anyone to talk with or confide in.
I wrote this piece so that everyone who doesn’t make the time to build friendships will try to be more open to making new friends, and open to putting a little effort into maintaining those friendships so that when you do feel that you would appreciate having someone by your side, someone to trust, share, and confide in, and someone who will bring more smiles and joy into your life, you’ll have it, and you won’t feel all alone.
If you ever see that someone would appreciate your warmth, your company, and a friend during a difficult time, there’s no better way of being giving and selfless as a human being. Always try to put yourself in other’s shoes, and consider how you might feel if you were in their position, and especially if you see that they might not have anyone to turn to. Remember never to judge others based on how they’re feeling, for what they’re going through, or even for not having a lot of friends to talk to or share with. Be loving and kind, and to all people, not merely the one’s who you know personally. Say hello, and smile with light and love exuding from your face, because even if you can’t help someone to feel better, you might at least lift their spirits, even if for a mere moment.
No one needs to have a ton of friendships, and definitely not a whole lot of fake friends, unstable friendships, or people who are more of the fair weather types. Pick and choose your friends wisely, and make having at least one or two friendships more of a priority in your life. Sure we all do everything ourselves, but why do that when we can have someone who will love us, be there for us, and brighten our day in moments when we could
use a friend. And last, but not least, make sure that you do your share in your friendships by being a good friend, by being giving, selfless, and by being there for when your friend could use a friend too.
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