Picking and Choosing the Right Friends



When it comes to making friends, just as the saying goes, you are who your friends are. It’s important to be careful with who you bring closely into your circles, and into your life. Making the wrong set of friends can affect many things in your life. It can affect your life for the better or for the worse if you’re not careful. As well, it can affect how you’ll feel on a daily basis, and how much you’ll accomplish. As we all know, how we feel inside plays a big role and how much we get done, and on how well we do things.ย 

Good Friends Don’t Come Easy

When it comes to making friendships in Los Angeles, it can be quite challenging at times. Living in Los Angeles brings about whole new mentality and way of thinking. It’s hard to make stable friendships that will last year after year wherever you live. But for some reason, Los Angeles has a reputation for people being somewhat on the flaky side, where people end friendships and relationships upon the season changing.

It’s important to be somewhat picky and choose wisely who your close friends are. It’s good to have many acquaintances and people that you can talk to and be social with. But, when it comes to making good friends that will last, you should be very cautious not to bring in people that could hurt you, use you, or take advantage of you in any way. You should avoid toxic people, and only surround yourself with like minded individuals, despite whether or not you have identical interests. All that really matters is that they’re good people, with a healthy head on their shoulders. As well, it’s important to make sure that they’re somewhat enlightened individuals that will bring you up in life.

The last thing that anyone wants is to make a new friend that isn’t righteous, acts in a negative manner, seems pessimistic, or even worse, someone that makes bad choices in life or isn’t very motivated and driven towards their goals. When you choose the wrong friends, it can be truly detrimental to your own success and well-being. Even if you’re the type of person that’s predominantly well rounded, enlightened, hard-working, and goal oriented, if you choose the wrong friends to be around, they’ll likely bring you down in some way. They might even end up stalling you from attaining your goals.

Good friends will want you to succeed in life. They’ll have your best interest at heart. They’ll know and understand that sometimes you have to put you first. You should be weary of jealous people, and friends that secretly want you to fail, and avoid those types at all costs. It’s important to make friends that are goal oriented and that have an idea of what they want to do in life. As much as possible, pick the types of friends that will strive towards their dreams, and even view their dreams as goals. There’s nothing appealing about a person that’s lazy or that doesn’t have any vision of where they want to be in life. We all need a gameplan, or at least, creating one should be a priority when starting out in life.

Avoid One-Sided Friendships

We should all do our part when it comes to having and maintaining good and healthy friendships. Friendships like any other relationship should never be one sided where one person does all of the giving, and is the only one putting effort into things. Effort costs nothing, and it’s one of the biggest and easiest ways to know that someone cares. Both people should have each other’s backs, and be there for one another when in need. Being a good friend means being selfless, loving, and giving whenever possible. Be a good friend doesn’t mean that you need to sit in the backseat all of the time, while your friend rides shotgun so to speak.

You need to love and care for yourself first, be a whole person, and treat yourself as a priority in your life. You should never have to postpone your goals and what you want to achieve in life simply out of selflessness or to help out your friend by being there for them, etc. However, when you’re able to be there for your friend, you should give your maximum love, effort, and dedication towards them just as they should do towards you when they’re able to. Good friends are usually understanding, and know that getting ahead in life is a priority, and striving towards your goals is something imperative, especially during college years.

Remember, try to surround yourself with positive and enlightened people that will bring you up in life, instead of down. Make friends that are motivated and diligent when it comes to having priorities and doing their best in life to succeed. If the saying is true, and that you are who your friends are, then pick a group of friends or even one really good friend that will enhance your life, and make you into a better person. Don’t settle for just any friend. Just know that it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person in a friendship, or any relationship for that matter. Friends are important to have, even if it’s just one healthy friendship. It’s not about quantity, because having one or two really good friends can be much more beneficial when it comes to having a healthy and happy social life.

Anne Cohen
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7 thoughts on “Picking and Choosing the Right Friends

  1. Anne,
    I don’t want to sound like a hater but I’m not sure I understand the reason for this article. Sure, we all need good, loving, unselfish, helpful friends. If they do not have these traits then they’re not real friends. But this is something we all know: if a friend tries to stab you in the back he’s an enemy, not a friend. So what’s your point?

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