Dating Advice – Why Mind Games Are a Waste of Time

Dating-Advice-Why-Mind-Games-Are-a-Waste-of-Time


Sitting here, I wonder… Do we need games in order to keep things spicy and interesting when dating someone new? Do we need to keep the other person interested in us by being only partially our authentic selves? Or should we give our hearts and all of our love fully when we actually and genuinely feel it, rather than planning and calculating our every move?


Sometimes people feel the need to calculate their moves and dissect not only the other person’s actions, words, texts, and responses, but they’ll dissect their own words and actions and hold back what they really want to say, share, and express to the other person. And many times people do this to gain an advantage of a situation, to be in control, or to make sure that the other person likes them more than they like them. They usually do the latter because they’re afraid of getting hurt. Having said that, again, I ask this question… Is it better to be safe, protect yourself, and to play games or to keep it real and cut out all of the BS?


You have to risk getting hurt in order to fall in love. Having said that, you must have an open heart. Many of us have been hurt before. But the only way to that you should be open to dating someone or starting something new is to have an open heart and take that risk. And although it’s a big risk to get hurt, the reward could be great if you find your special someone and truly fall in love. But remember, proceed and date with caution, not fear. If you’re afraid, then you can’t fall in love, but if you’re cautious, then you’re careful but still open to it.


There’s a big difference between being scared and being cautious. Being cautious involves asking important questions, being open-minded, and not assuming that everyone will hurt you like your ex might’ve, but being open to learning all about a new someone on a deeper level. Be open to learning and loving someone new. It’s not a bad idea to be cautious though, as long as that caution doesn’t turn into fear or hold you back from moving forward in a logical and reasonable timeframe.


I noticed that kids would start playing mind games at about the age of 16 and it kind of took me by surprise. I’d like to think that after all of these years, people have learned that games are not the way to win someone’s true love and affection, and definitely not if they want it to be real and true love. It’s kind of sad to see that kids are starting out with this game playing stuff much earlier on nowadays. And although I can’t do much to stop anyone in this world from playing games or hurting other people, I can write and spread love, truth, and my feelings about why mind games and being calculating instead of keeping it real is not the way to win in the end.


We all experience pain in this world. But we also all get a chance or even many chances to experience beautiful things in this world, many feelings, and many moments that are filled with joy, laughter, passion, and love. Although many people will complain that they don’t get to experience so many good things, at the same time, many others have gone through even greater challenges and hardships that they’ve had to overcome, yet still have found ways to create moments of bliss, happiness, good times, and love. It’s all about perception and seeing things with optimism and a positive outlook. As well, it’s about seeing difficulties and issues as challenges yet to be overcome, and never giving up, but holding on tight, believing, and keeping hope while pushing forward with a strong, resilient, and determined energy and mindset.


Now going back to playing games… I truly feel that playing games and gaining an advantage over a situation is easy. There are many people and bloggers who have written articles about how to get the girl, the guy, how to get laid, or even how to make someone fall in love with you… ugh. But one truth remains, it will never be real or give both people the butterflies, joy, and intense love that comes with falling genuinely in love with someone naturally and without games. When someone wears their heart on their sleeve, is honest, direct, open-book, acts like a true best friend, and isn’t afraid to be their silly or at times awkward self, it’s SEXY!


The right person will LOVE you for you and without having to alter yourself, your feelings, or even what you say to them. And the right person will likely adore the fact that you showed your imperfect but perfect self to them early on and from the getgo instead of putting on an act—and that’s probably why they’ll end up falling in love with you in the end. They’ll love you for who you are at your core and without all of the head games and BS to weed through. At the end of the day, we all want to be loved and adored by someone who we will love and adore. It’s important not to play games because it can hurt someone and it can also stall someone from finding the right person for them, and that person won’t need to play games in order to win their love, attention, and affection.

Anne Cohen

Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes
Anne Cohen is a lifestyle and relationship blogger based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blogs are Anne Cohen and Anne Cohen Writes. She contributes to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids.

One thought on “Dating Advice – Why Mind Games Are a Waste of Time

  1. I’m afraid to open my heart again because I don’t want to get hurt. I understand there are risks involved with falling in love with someone, but I’m not sure if it’s possible.

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