Breaking Up? How to Keep Your Divorce Battle From Becoming a War

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Divorce is often portrayed in the media as an ugly and bitter process, but it doesn’t have to be. If divorce is unavoidable, there are a few steps couples can take to prevent it from devolving into an ugly battle. Read on for four ways to prepare for a more positive divorce experience.


Speak with a Couples Counselor


While most couples believe that a counselor will only benefit them when trying to prevent a divorce, oftentimes, couples experiencing difficulties do make the decision to divorce. As part of couples counseling focuses on improving communication between both partners, this counseling can be beneficial for divorcing couples.


During couples counseling, both parties can work with a counselor to better understand each others’ point of view. While this may not bring them back from the brink of divorce, this kind of open discourse will help both people work through hurt feelings, making it easier to have a smoother divorce.


Work with a Mediator


As part of divorce requires both parties to come to agreements on a variety of things, this can be a difficult feat if each person is on a different page. 90% of divorcing couples have settled successfully after using a mediator. By working with a mediator, both parties will be able to set aside their differences and brainstorm ways to come to an agreement. Instead of endlessly fighting with one another, a mediator will remain neutral, making it easier for each person to agree with each other.


Be Prepared to Compromise


The division of assets is the part of divorce where many negotiations fall apart. Even when two people want to get a divorce, splitting assets can unearth the nastier side of each person. Avoid this unfortunate situation by approaching this process already prepared to make a compromise on which party gets what assets.


The ability to compromise during divorce proceedings is also essential when both parents work with a family attorney to decide who gets custody of the children. While it’s an uncomfortable topic, it’s important to compromise with one another to make the right decision for the kids.


Focus on Moving On


Another area where many couples experience strife during the divorce process is the failure to move on. Moving on is certainly a challenge, but it’s an important choice for each party to make. Instead of trying to get even, both members of the divorcing couple needs to focus on leaving the past behind and embrace the future. If either party loses focus on the future and aims for revenge, it will make the divorce process an awful nightmare for everyone involved and inhibit closure. If you’re still harboring bitter feelings towards your spouse or ex-spouse, speak with a counselor to help you move on from the past and let go of old grudges.


Don’t go into divorce expecting to wage war. With the right mindset and the above four strategies, any couple should be able to make it through their divorce amicably. The most important thing is that both parties are able to move on afterward and get a fresh start on a new life.

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