When something spills or breaks, normally, we would just clean it up, and possibly replace it. However, there are some things that can’t be cleaned up or replaced for reasons of sentiment, or simply because they’re irreplaceable, or unfixable. There’s an old saying, “When the glass is broken, it’s broken.” When something like glass breaks, it’s broken, ruined, and gone. When it’s something with a sentimental value, an heirloom, or something that was done to a person on an emotional level, things can’t always be repaired. In other words, when there’s been destruction of a person’s spirit caused by their partner, it can be the end point for their relationship. “When the glass is broken, it’s broken,” also includes living in the spiritual world. When there’s been enough hurt, pain, or any particular damage that there’s no turning back from, it’s over, ruined, and done.
In relationships, there will be times when one person causes pain, distress, or discomfort to the other person, and either it can be fixed or not, depending on the situation. Everyone has their own set of deal breakers in relationships and marriages. A few deal breakers for many people might be things like infidelity, being unfaithful, cheating emotionally or physically, physical abuse, verbal abuse, and any other type of abuse. Some other deal breakers might be violence, having a bad temperament, lack of intimacy, etc. There are many deal breakers that people have that I wouldn’t necessarily agree with, but, to each their own. Having said this, when someone crosses a certain line or boundary that you may have, something that you’d consider to be a deal breaker, there may be no turning back or openness towards forgiving your partner.
Relationships are never perfect, and people make mistakes and mess up sometimes. It’s important to have a forgiving heart towards your partner, especially when you intend on staying together for the long-term, and forever. If you truly love your partner, you’ll have a forgiving heart, and there may be times where it may take time to heal, necessary talking, and possible bickering even, when it comes to venting, and getting your feelings out. This is why having great communication is so essential in maintaining a healthy, happy, and loving relationship that will last.
For some people, despite the fact that they’ve been hurt by their partner in some way, they choose to stay with their partner. When a person chooses to stay with their partner even though one of their deal breakers have occurred, that’s their own personal choice, whether others would agree or not. If they choose to stay, they should expect that those types of behaviours that caused them previous hurt could and might likely happen again. This is something that they will have to prepare themselves for. As I’d like to put it, “Brace yo self! It’s gonna be a long road ahead.” It’s not easy on the person that’s been hurt when they choose to stay and make things work.
Many times, people have such forgiving hearts or possibly have the fear of being alone and without their partner, that they stay, despite what’s been done to them, despite the hurt or pain that their partner caused them, and despite the possible consequences down the line. It takes an intensely strong and resilient person to stay in a bad and toxic relationship. But, it takes an even more resilient and stronger person to get up and leave when the situation is that bad. It’s important not to put yourself in a situation, nor stay in one for that matter, that’s toxic, violent, abusive, and definitely, when you fear for your life and your safety (and if you have kids, the safety of them as well). When you’re in a bad relationship or marriage, and it’s at the point where there’s horrible violence or abuse, you need to get out, and let go of your fears.
There’s always someone that a person can go to when they’re in an abusive and toxic relationship, despite their fear of their partner, the possible consequences, or of any possible threats that were made to them. You can always come to me, and I’ll head to you in the right direction as to who to go to that would help you. Again, you can always go to someone for help, when you let go of your fear of what “could” happen. When it comes to forgiving a person that did something horrible, but it’s not the kind of horrible that you can’t live with, it can take a big toll on the person that got the short end of the stick, and drain them emotionally. It’s important to love yourself enough, to know your self-worth, and to know that you should be treated with the utmost respect, and in a dignified manner in which you’re shown love in every aspect of your relationship.
Love and respect are not things that you’re entitled to or that should be expected, nor should they be demanded by anyone. Love and respect are things that are earned and gained through another person’s acts of love and respect. If you think about it, or if you even have to think about it, which most of us don’t, you can’t pay to gain someone’s love. You can’t pay to gain someone’s respect. Becoming wealthy won’t change the way a person is looked at once they open their mouth and toxicity comes out of it, or when their actions are so foul and horrid. A person is only as good as they act. A person can think about being a good person, but when it comes down to it, it’s their actions that count, and how they’ll be portrayed by others.
We’re all in control of our own destiny, and we need to decide what path is the right path for us as individuals. There’s never a black and white answer when it comes to knowing which path to take, unless it’s extremely toxic. When something is that toxic, get out while you can. Many times people are addicted so to speak, or so used to a person, that they’re willing to stay, despite getting hurt in the process.
Many times people who have children with their spouse or partner or even from a previous marriage or relationship, they put their kids last, and feed into their selfish impulse to be close and stay with their partner in that toxic relationship. To those in which it pertains, some simple words of advice would be to think of your kids, and not gratifying your selfish desires or needs. Things can and may very likely get worse when you stay in a toxic relationship, so be strong, and do what’s right for the sake of yourself and your loved ones.
Last, but not least, if you have lied to someone or lost someone’s trust by your words or actions, the only way that one “who may be willing” to forgive you will get over the trust issues that were created, is by showing remorse and understanding of what you had done. In addition, you will need to change for the better, and become brutally honest, never lie again, become an open book, and not having unreasonable expectations of special treatment or even demand to have a clean slate, because frankly, you don’t deserve it! Trust is earned, not demanded, and if someone has a beautiful and forgiving heart and is willing to look past all the lies etc., then the other person needs to understand that if they want another chance, they won’t get a clean slate, and that they’re merely fortunate enough to get that second chance.
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More from Anne Cohen Writes
10 Things That Happen to Liars When They Tell Lies
He Lied and Cheated – and Then Blamed Me
When Someone Isn’t Worthy of Your Love
When a Man’s Word Means Nothing
Online Dating Apps and How People Are Swiping, Ghosting, and Replacing You in an Instant
What to Do When You Think Your Partner Is Being Shady
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