How Jealousy Can Destroy a Good Thing


One of the most destructive things in relationships is lacking trust and being overly jealous. Jealousy can turn a beautiful relationship into a sour and ugly one. It’s imperative that we’re able to be ourselves in relationships and to stay individuals, despite the fact that we’re adding a wonderful partner into our lives. When people become overly jealous, they tend to become critical of you, making you feel as if you’re doing something wrong at times. Many times jealous people want you to change the way that you are, the way that you act, how you look, and even what you say. But it’s important to remember that when someone is overly jealous, they’re the ones with the issue, and they need to work on themselves.

It’s one thing to be helpful when your partner acts jealous, but only a jealous person can truly change themselves, so they need to really want to become better. Some people question whether a little bit of jealousy is not only O.K. to feel in relationships, but whether it makes the other person feel loved even more. A little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone, and sometimes it does make people feel even more loved and adored. It might even make people feel that the other person is really into them. They usually feel this way either because they act so possessive, or because they’re showing that they care about them so much.

However, jealousy is usually routed from fear, not love. But at times, a jealous person will feel that they’re acting jealous because of how much they love you. But they’re wrong. When someone truly loves you, they’re not going to try to control you, or dominate you in any way. We all need to feel a sense of freedom even when we’re in a relationship. You should never have to lose yourself or change who you are at your core because you’re with a jealous partner. Your partner should love and adore you just the way that you are.

Jealousy is an issue that can definitely be worked on, but it can also cause a lot of heartache, turbulence, and hardship for couples when it’s present to an extreme extent. No one should ever make you feel bad or that you’re doing something wrong because you’re acting as yourself. The right person will love you just the way that you are, and not try to change you into some version how they might prefer you to be. This is imperative to remember, because many times we settle for the wrong relationship, instead of being patient and waiting for the right person that will love us just the way that we are, and without trying to change us to fit into their life and their ideals of how a person should be.

The destructiveness of an overly jealous person can completely destroy the love that a couple might share, and it can be truly unfortunate when you have a good thing going. If you notice that you or your partner is acting overly jealous, has trust issues, or is trying to change you in order to fit into their life, just remember that communication is everything, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving one another a little extra security and confidence in knowing that you’re faithful, trustworthy, and that you’re completely into that person.

Give each other enough love and understanding so that you both feel secure and happy in your relationship. But after giving a jealous partner a certain amount of love, security, and confidence in knowing that you’re absolutely crazy about them, and that you’re not looking for anyone else, and it still doesn’t work, then that person needs to sort out their trust issues, and learn to control their jealousy. If they don’t, they not only could destroy a beautiful love that you might be sharing, but they could lose you forever. Don’t let jealousy destroy your relationship.

We all have issues and things that we need to work on in life, but if jealousy and the lack of trust are things that you’re concerned with in your relationship, communicate with your partner, and give them security. And to the jealous person, work hard on building more trust, confidence, and have a little faith in your partner. Every relationship should be treated as if there’s a blank, clean slate. That’s the biggest reason why you shouldn’t bring in any issues from your past where you might have lacked trust. If you want your relationship to work and succeed, it can be easy. But if you want your relationship to work, succeed, be filled with love, happiness, and thrive, then you have to have trust in your partner. And remember, your ultimate goal is to have an amazing relationship where you’ll both feel happy and secure. 

Anne Cohen
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