When Your Partner Acts Cold

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When someone acts distant or cold to you, it can be truly hurtful. Especially, when you care so deeply about the person who is acting in such a way. It’s important to find out why someone acts the way that they do, and not just assume that it’s because they’re actually acting cold towards you personally. There are many reasons why people seem to act in the ways that they do, and it’s not necessarily always about you. It’s important not to take things too personally when you feel this way, and address the issue at hand by confronting them, and communicating your feelings.


If someone is an open book, clear, direct, and honest with you, and if they value you and your feelings enough, they’ll let you know what’s going on. Just ask them. Perhaps they didn’t intend on being cold at all. It’s possible that your partner just has a lot of things going on in their mind. Maybe they’re thinking about proposing to you or they want to surprise you in some way. The point isn’t to get your hopes up so high, because you could wind up getting let down. However, you should stay optimistic, and not assume the worst or that they’re trying to create distance from you.


There could be endless reasons as to why your partner is seemingly being cold or acting distant towards you. Maybe they’ll end up telling you that they’re busy and consumed with work. Having said that, I truly believe that we should all have balance in our lives, because when every aspect of our lives are treated as priorities to a certain extent, nothing gets left out or given a lack of attention to. When it comes to relationships, no one ever wants to feel as if they’re an “option” to you. People want to feel that you view them as a priority, and you should. Despite what the reasons are that your partner seems cold or distant, they should be willing to communicate with you so that you’re not in the dark.


If you don’t communicate your feelings and concerns to your partner, they might not have any idea what’s going on inside your head. No one should ever have to read their partner’s mind. Things aren’t always obvious, and listening to your instincts and being assuming aren’t the best methods to know what’s going on with your partner. Do your part as a teammate by treating your partner as a best friend, and communicate your concerns to them. Don’t expect them to read your mind, and automatically know that you feel they’re acting distant and cold. Let your partner know how you’re feeling by being direct and honest with them.


Relationships take hard work and effort from both people. Don’t expect to have your relationship remain stably happy and honeymoon-like if you’re not going to pay attention to your partner or put any effort into maintaining the relationship. Relationship problems are normal. Relationships always go through stages where they’re happier at different times. However, what’s imperative is not to let the love or happiness in a relationship die out so to speak. If you lack the time to put effort and love into maintaining your relationship, it’s going to get sour, and as a couple, you simply won’t thrive or feel good.


Assuming that you put love and effort into your relationship, and that you make time for your partner, things should generally flow and move along in a happy manner. Communication is key, and couples need to communicate their feelings in a comfortable manner without fearing their partner’s reactions. If you or your partner are afraid to communicate exactly what’s on your mind and feel the need to always filter what you say, your relationship likely has deeper rooted issues that need to be addressed. When you truly care about your partner’s happiness, you’ll value what’s important to them, and care how they’re feeling inside, as well as how they feel about the relationship.


When it comes to having a happy relationship, it needs to be a healthy one. That’s why I usually write happy and healthy relationship, rather than just a happy one when explaining things. Relationships that are healthy are much more apt to becoming happy. Remember, relationship aren’t always easy. They take hard work and love being continuously put into things if you want to maintain them. We should never assume the worst. But instead, we should stay optimistic even when it might seem hard to.


Don’t assume that the reason you feel your partner is acting cold to you is intentional. Give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Directly ask your partner what’s going on, and tell them that you don’t want to assume anything, but you feel as if they’re being cold to you. See what your partner says, and take things from there. Just remember, if you have the opportunity to stay optimistic and give your partner the benefit of the doubt, do so. It will ease your worry, calm your mood, and maintain your inner peace. At that point, you’ll be able to communicate your feelings better and address your concerns to your partner in a calm and loving manner.

Anne Cohen
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