When I was a child, the person you chose to be your best friend was kind of a big deal. And by “kind of”, I mean, one of the most important decisions of your life. Everyone knew who everyone else’s best friend was, and each person was fiercely protective of the other. Anyone else referring to your best friend as their best friend was just asking for trouble. Your duties were to help each other (whether that be with boys, clothes, or puberty) and be there for each other no matter what. Your best friend is supposed to be with you through thick and thin, forever.
Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way. High school is rough. Fights happen. People grow up, move, go to college, get jobs, spouses, etc. You can drift apart and not really fill the role you expected to as you age. This is pretty normal, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
It can hurt to lose someone you consider your best friend, which may be why some people have at least a dozen “best friends”. It makes me wonder if the term really means much to them at all. Their “best friend list” changes weekly, and despite the fact that best friends tend to come and go for them, there is still jealousy about who is and isn’t on the list. The point is, having a best friend can be complicated, dramatic, or short-lived sometimes.
While there is a lot of instability with choosing a best friend when you are young and there is no guarantee that who you chose will stay, there is one person you should consider to fill the role in your adult life: your partner. Here is why…
There is no other relationship in the world where you dedicate yourself to each other until death do you part than the relationship you have when you get married. It should be the strongest relationship you have with another human being. Why not make your spouse your best friend? Pour out your heart to them. Tell them what you love and what you hate. Divulge all your favorite things and crazy dreams. Let all your walls down and let them into your heart and mind fully.
Be open and vulnerable with your spouse, just like you would be with a best friend, or even more fully (just don’t make them your only friend because that can get overwhelming)! This will foster intimacy between the two of you and enrich your relationship in every possible way.
By making your spouse your best friend, you are allowing yourself the stability to thrive in a friendship and relationship you know you will be in for the long haul, and who doesn’t want that?
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6 thoughts on “Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend”
It’s interesting, but as a child my “best friends” were not good friends at all. They were reflections of my parents who were abusive. As an adult my first two husbands were the same. Abusive in different ways, not physical. After my second split, I got therapy and learned important things about myself that broke the cycle. My third husband and I are in our 25th year married. I’d known him for many years and he is the very best friend I’ve ever had. We met at work in a neutral environment and found one another “comfortable” and easy to talk to. That means a lot. I have other friends in different states, but they are far away now. We still chat and I miss them horribly, but I’m okay because my ultimate bestest friend is by my side.
I am so glad you have your husband now. I’ve been through similar in terms of picking people who were the same type of abusive as abuse I previously dealt with. I think abusive people have a way of picking out people who have already been broken down and are easy “targets”. I’m happy to hear you got therapy, it is so wonderful and such an underused resource. I wish you and your husband many more happy years together! <3