When Your Partner Doesn’t Have Your Back


When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to be able to depend on one another, to confide in one another, and to be able to trust one another at all times. If you feel that you can’t do any of those things with the person that you’re with, then you’re definitely in the wrong situation, and it’s best that you move on. Having the security of knowing that your partner will always have your back in difficult situations is imperative, and when you see early on that someone doesn’t, it’s important to think long and hard as to whether or not that person is truly the right match for you.

You should marry your best friend. But let’s start out simple. You should be in a relationship with your best friend. And let’s cut that down to even before relationships start. You should only date people before getting into a relationship that you can imagine being best friends with. Therefore, it’s important to recognize the signs early on whether or not you’re able to openly communicate your feelings and thoughts to the person that you’re dating, so that you can get a good sense of whether or not you’ll be able to build a friendship with that person, let alone explore an exclusive relationship with them. 

Once you know that someone is your best friend and you’re in a relationship with them, many things are important to look out for, and to view as possible red flags. If someone is dishonest or breaks any of the foundation pillars that are required for all relationships, then you should end that situation immediately. Lying early on is one of the biggest red flags, and so is when someone doesn’t keep their word. But another thing that many times people do in relationships that would be considered red flags are things that are routed from fear or doubt, and you should definitely look out for those signs as well. 

For example, if someone doesn’t have your back when push comes to shove, and you feel that you can’t depend on them when you’re faced with different predicaments, then you really don’t have much of a foundation with that person. Being able to depend on your partner is essential, and if your partner acts out of fear or doubt, then your relationship likely has some big issues that either need to get resolved or you should both go your separate ways. When you can’t depend on someone that you love or someone that’s supposed to be your best friend and your partner, you really have nothing to fight for. 

When you’re in a relationship and you’re at the point where you want to meet each other’s families and friends, and some of them don’t approve of you or perhaps, fail to even give you a shot or a sincere chance at getting to know you, then you need to watch and see how your partner responds. Situations like that can go one of a couple of different ways. Either your partner will be loving and supportive, making you feel as though you have a backbone, and that you’re a team. They’ll show you the strength in how much they believe in you, in them, and in your relationship. They’ll let you know that they’ll continue to stay by your side, hand in hand, making you feel reassured that they’re with you and aren’t going anywhere, regardless of what people say or think, or they will distance themselves, and side with the people that don’t approve, accept or love you.

When your partner doesn’t have your back in a scenario as such, you clearly can’t depend on them for anything, let alone reassurance or stability. And like I said before, when you can’t depend on your partner and they don’t have your back, especially in big situations as such, you should find someone else that will. We all deserve to have a partner in life that will stand by our side through thick and thin, and not disappear or distance themselves when things get tough. We all want to be loved and accepted in life, and if our own partner isn’t going to stand by our side, stick up for us, and give us the reassurance and love that we need and deserve, especially during those hard times, then you should move on. 

Anne Cohen
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