Something that happens to many people, and especially when they’re self-aware to a certain degree, is that they realize that they don’t know it all. Now, I’m saying that anyone goes around claiming to know it all, although some do, but there comes a time when someone will do some soul searching and figure out, “Geez, I’ve got issues!” We all have certain things that we need to work on, and sometimes having people telling you won’t be the key to what will make you search within and come to terms with whatever it is. And just because people will tell you that you have certain issues, it doesn’t mean that you do. They might even be projecting their own issues onto you. However, many people are simply in denial of their issues and think of themselves as someone who frankly, is perfect in certain areas, only to later on find out the hard way, that they’re not.
One of the hardest things in life to endure in oneself is coming to terms with the fact that maybe we were wrong. Being wrong about something that you might’ve said or done to someone can be a lot easier to fix at times, than when you find out that you were wrong about something that you’ve been feeling or thinking is right, and especially when you’ve been feeling or thinking this way for a long time. Working on our own issues can be one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes, coming to terms with the fact that we have certain issues can be even harder than the work ahead of us.
Once a person realizes that they have certain issues, you might think, “Hey, at least I’m not in denial, right?” But that’s only the first step. However, it can be such a difficult step when you first come to terms with the fact that you have certain issues. We all see ourselves in a certain light, and despite how others may see us, it’s great to think highly of ourselves and to feel good, confident, and have a good self-esteem. But one of the most important things that it takes in order to be a truly well rounded and evolved individual, is to know the difference between being confident, secure, humble, and to recognize your imperfections and things that you need to work on, from someone who’s arrogant, you know, “overly confident,” and who thinks that they’re flawless, and who never looks within, when there’s an issue in their life.
Arrogance is ugly, but so is when people aren’t humble or never own up to their sh**. As well, when people aren’t self-aware, it can be quite unappealing too. I mean think about it, who would you rather spend your time and hang out with the type of person who acts perfect, flawless, is arrogant, and has their sh** together, but who never owns up to their mistakes, etc., or the type of person who tries their best, is confident, humble, self-aware, owns up to their mistakes, and pushes forward in their life on every level; spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and tries hard to improve themselves? I would definitely rather spend my time with the type who’s knowingly imperfect, and who won’t be too proud or cocky, and who sees the obvious, that they’re imperfect.
Our personal issues were created because of many different reasons. Perhaps they were created because of what we’d seen growing up, how we were raised, seeing friends or loved one’s who acted in certain ways, or even from people who have hurt us in life. But regardless, we end up having to deal with the issues that were created, despite how they were made, and if we don’t, we’ll never heal, and never become the best version of ourselves. Working on our issues isn’t an easy task, but no one else is going to do it for us. And if we don’t work on our issues, we won’t grow and evolve into better human beings. And we might even pass our issues onto others or even our children if we’re not careful. We need to acknowledge our issues, but also be willing to put the hard work into healing, improving, and hopefully permanently fixing our issues.
We can’t live our lives blaming the world around us or even blaming certain specific people for they’d done to us. We need to own up to our issues, just as much as we need to own up to our mistakes. It doesn’t matter how badly one might’ve been abused or hurt when it comes to where you are in life NOW. Right now is what matters, because the past is dead and gone, and reliving it or blaming those who might’ve hurt you for you having issues is only going to bring headache, heartache, turbulence, and a lack of spiritual growth to your life. You can’t live your life in the best way and be happy or at peace, or even find a stable, loving, and happy relationship or even friendships for that matter, if you’re not going to work on yourself. So be willing to look within, and acknowledge your needed areas of improvement.
Don’t hide in a shell, blaming others for how you behave or think, because you make your own decisions in life, and therefore, you will have to face the consequences. The people who hurt you won’t have to face them. They’ll have to face consequences of their own I’m sure, but you are to blame for your own decisions and mistakes. You will be to blame if you mess up. And so what if you have a lot of issues! And Hell yeah, you should still be confident and love yourself. Feel good on your journey in life.
Remember, you won’t always know what other people’s “real issues” are, and many people are likely fighting their own battles, which in comparison to yours and whether you see their issues upfront or not, might be a Hell of a lot worse! But either way, don’t compare yourself to someone else, and don’t fret for the road ahead of you and how long it might take to heal or work on your issues. Start working on yourself. Start today, start now, and do so with the goal of being the best version of yourself, the new you, the new and improved you.
I wanted to add this one important point. When you mess up and make mistakes and it affects other people, you should own up to what you did, even if it wasn’t intentionally. However, when you realize that something you’re doing isn’t right, or if you start to realize just how imperfect you really are, you shouldn’t be ashamed, but you also don’t have to tell the world. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feel inside or what issues that you discover are needing improvement.
The only person who you truly need to answer to is G-d, and then yourself. So pray to G-d, ask for guidance, but don’t ever feel obligated to confess your issues to anyone else, especially if you’re working on them. Don’t let others have the opportunity to bring you down. Sharing personal issues with others can be helpful at times, but only if you’re confiding in certain people who will truly have your best interest at heart. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation of how to want to improve yourself, only an explanation or even an apology for why you might’ve hurt someone.
Know that you’re not alone, and everyone else has their own needed areas of improvement, so they’re probably struggling in their own way. But you are never alone, and if you need help to sort things out or to help push you in the right direction, never be afraid to reach out to someone who you trust. Self help articles and books can be helpful, but confiding in someone who you trust can also be beneficial. Just pick and choose who you trust to confide in. Just because someone is a therapist, a family member, or a close friend, doesn’t mean that they will be a good person for you to share such personal things with, so be cautious.
Be smart with who you share your innermost secrets and private matters with. People can be very judgmental or even claim to want to help you but then either hurt you, take advantage of you, or Heaven’s forbid, give you bad advice. Last, but not least, try working on yourself on your own first and foremost, and praying, and then acknowledging your faults, apologizing to those who you might’ve hurt in life, and working hard on improving your issues. It may be a long road ahead, but the the battle will be worth it in the end.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- A Big Must-Have for All Relationships - March 23, 2017
- When ‘Man’s Best Friend’ Doesn’t Like Your Girlfriend - March 23, 2017
- 7 Ways to Be a Better Partner - March 22, 2017