10 Things NOT to Write on a Dating Site


There are so many people on dating sites these days. Everyone’s looking for love, a date, a friend, a lover, or a quick hook up. Some people are even looking to just network on dating sites. For networking, there are much better sites and ways to go about that. There are many reasons why people go on dating sites. Some people work such long hours at their job, that they don’t have time to go out and mingle. Other people simply want to expand their ways of meeting someone and are hoping to broaden their chance at finding someone. There are many positive and negative things about dating sites. In this article, I want to share some of the worst things I’ve seen people write on dating sites and why writing these things is so off. Even though, that should be obvious!

Here’s the list:

1. Don’t write what you’re NOT looking for.

2. Don’t write anything negative. Don’t write any bad words, including the word douche. Many profiles state that they feel they’re a great guy and they don’t act like a douche, like most guys. Again, it’s NEVER okay to write the word douche.

3. Never write that you’re very sexual. Don’t use the word sex, sexy, or sexual at all on your dating site or in messages and emails to someone you don’t know.

4. Men shouldn’t post pictures with their shirt off and women shouldn’t post pictures in a bathing suit or anything too revealing. Dating sites aren’t the same as porn sites or escort services.

5. Don’t write a summary that makes no sense. Write down some substance about who you are and what you’re looking for. Don’t write a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, because it only makes people want to click on the next profile. Put a little effort into writing your summary.

6. Don’t write too much and don’t write too little. Write a short and brief summary about yourself and what you’re looking for in another person.

5. Don’t write fantasy summaries. Don’t try to swoon people and make them want you for your money and material things. There’s no need to lure someone in and see if they want to travel the Seven Seas with you, and then wonder if they love you for you. Get to know a person first, before sharing how you want to sweep them off of their feet. There’s no need to brag about your material things. It’s just frosting. The right person will love you for you.

6. Don’t post pictures unless you’re in them. Don’t post pictures of your art, photography, pets, or anything else, unless you’re in the picture as well. You definitely have to post a picture of yourself or you don’t deserve to get a response.

7. Proofread your summary and make sure there are no grammatical errors. You’re posting this profile to try to meet someone new. This person should have an appreciation for good English, if that’s both of your first language. It doesn’t take more than a moment to proofread your summary. If your response to this is that it’s merely a dating profile and who cares, I sincerely hope you turn your dating site off and get a clue. It matters how you present yourself, even in a dating site profile.

8. When you send the first email to someone, hoping for a response, include your name at the bottom. You don’t have to write your last name at first. We all know how much people like to Google other people at this point, and it makes some people uncomfortable. Many people write the first letter of their name at the end of the first email. It’s not like knowing a person’s first name is going to be something they’re going to do research on. What’s the harm in knowing a person’s first name if you’re going to be emailing to each other back-and-forth. Write your first name at the end of an email to someone, so they know who they’re communicating with.

9. Be honest about your age and everything else on your profile. There’s no need to start off a new relationship with lies. If someone doesn’t want you for how you really are, then you should find someone who does. It doesn’t matter if your age prevents some people from seeing you in search results. If you choose to search for people within a certain age range, you can do that without being dishonest on your own profile. It’s true that people won’t be able to find you in their search results, if they’re not looking for someone within an age range that’s perhaps one or five years younger than you. The most important thing is to be honest. I can’t stress this enough. Even if you write in your summary that your age is different than what you wrote on the top of your profile, you still need to write the correct age. Writing an inaccurate age at the top of your profile and writing your real age in your summary, just lures people in with dishonesty. If people have an open mind in dating people in your age range, they will search within it.

10. When emailing or messaging someone new, don’t write the words babe, baby, sweetie, or honey. If you don’t know their name, ask them and I’m sure they’ll tell you. No one wants to be someone’s babe. Especially, when they don’t know the person that’s calling them babe. As well, I would refrain from telling someone that they’re hot or sexy, when you don’t know them. Stick to saying compliments that are classy, like beautiful or attractive.

Anne Cohen
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