I miss the good old days where you’d go out with friends and naturally meet someone. Where you’d have a Rabbi of a congregation come up to you after service and either try to date you or suggest people he thinks you’d match up nicely with. And then there were things like singles events hosted by people like Stu and Lou’s and different singles groups around social media as well as other reputable sources you can search up online. Oh yes, the good old days where you’d meet someone somewhere such as a supermarket or coffee shop and it all seemed so simple. Well, dear readers, dating is not so simple anymore, and why? Well, let me explain why online dating sites such as Match.com and Bumble are not only bad sites to choose if considering online dating, but bad options in general if you’re looking for your one and only.
Match Is a Hookup Dating Site – Despite What They Advertise
Dating sites such as Match and Bumble have become just as bad as any other swiping app or dating site. They should never be someone’s first choice when looking for something meaningful. 80% of people using online dating are looking for a hookup and the people who have the funds to pay for “love” will do so. One would like to think that people who are willing to pay for a dating site like Match or Bumble are more serious about finding “the one.” But on the contrary, some people simply have money to invest in hookups aka going fishing.
Going fishing you say? Yes. Going fishing, in case you’re new to online dating, is what most people tend to do in the online dating world. People try to get as many fish (people) as they can to bite, so these sites are filled with people who email you things like hey, what’s up, or creepy things like wear high heels on our date, bro, seriously? Ick.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, people have lost a sense of authenticity, honesty, empathy, and now more than ever, they look for what they can get from each other, which is toxic and selfish. Some people are looking for love, yes, but not many, despite what people say. It’s sad, really. Others, which are what dating sites such as Match and Bumble are predominantly filled with are the player-types, catfish, people looking for money aka gold diggers, and hookups aka flings. And by George, people will tell you anything you’d like to hear, just to have the chance to try to hook up with you or get a free meal, etc., and it’s disgusting. All of it, but on Match and Bumble, people may “appear more innocent” because they’re willing to pay to do all of the above—getting more in return I suppose.
Some of the Worst Things About Match and Bumble
Match and Bumble are filled with people who create fake profiles. They’ve come up with verified profiles, which is a complete gimmick where you would think it means the profile is genuine, but no. The genuineness many of us are looking for is not solely in a picture but in a profile and person. You see, when you write your intentions, your age, post “recent” pictures, and see what you really want in a partner, frankly, you’d hope some of that was “varifies and true. But usually, that’s unfortunately not the case and many people end up feeling let down and defeat each and every time people are not who the claimed to be, or who they portrayed themselves to be.
Match and Bumble are just two of the main toxic online dating sites used around the world. There are many other horrible dating sites out there as well. But in this article, I’m focusing on these two. You see, Match and Bumble also have a few issues with their sites, unlike some others.
One of the worst things about Bumble and Match is that most people on there have dating site experience and have become jaded about love and therefore, treat people differently than they might have if they had met the very same people in person. As well, most people on dating sites are still married aka separated, recently out of a relationship, and likely need time to heal.
For Starters, Their Filter System Sucks
If you’re even semi-attractive and have a decent profile, you will get emailed not by people you’re interested in dating or that meet the criteria you wrote in your profile that are “must-haves,” but by every type of person and from everywhere in the world. Well, that’s Match at least.
Bumble takes its shame by making women reach out to men to be able to connect with them, and many men have gained a sense of expectation of women to say some interesting thing or they will let it get to their head. Bumble has truly taken away the beauty in courting and that early dating experience including romance and chivalry. As if we needed any more help taking away old school dating ideas where a gentleman takes the lead and makes the first move. I’m an old school girl (yes, girl), and frankly, I don’t care if you disagree with my opinions, they remain.
Match and Bumble Have the Worst Customer Service
Another issue is that out of nowhere, you can lose your whole profile and account and get blocked, even when you follow the rules of the site. You see, the more emails you get, the less you’re likely to be able to respond to everyone who reaches out (not that you should respond to everyone). And in case, you don’t know what happens, sometimes people take serious offense when they’re ignored or when you’re not interested and it bruises their ego. And then they get angry and report your account to the site and make up some bologna excuse.
Bumble and Match have removed many accounts that were reported, despite not having a good reason. It can be disappointing and hurtful to that person who was genuinely looking for love and just, I don’t know, popular? I’ve heard and experienced many things from people on Match and Bumble as well as some other online dating sites. The worst of it is that both of these two sites have a bad reputation because of their horrible customer service for incidents such as the one I just mentioned.
Match and Bumble Have the “Grass Is Greener” Effect
Dating sites, in general, have a very toxic “grass is greener” effect. As soon as you match up with someone you like, they send you other people right away who they feel you will also like. You see, that’s merely part of their hack, to get you to stay on their sites, not to actually find love and spread the word. Gosh, we can all be a little too naive at times. We’re giving online dating sites like Match and Bumble way too much credit for truly wanting us to fall in love and experience true magic with our soulmate. It’s time to re-think our dating choices all together and where we are searching for “the one.”
Think Old School – Turn Off Your Dating Sites
At the end of the day, many if not most of us believe in love and hope to find our soulmate. And for those who aren’t jaded yet from horrible dating sites such as Match and Bumble, try some other way to meet people and get outside, rather than binge-watch Netflix so much – despite how truly enjoyable that can be.
Be active, go for a walk in a cute neighborhood, go to a doggy park, go to a concert with friends or even by yourself, just get out there and try to be social even if just to meet people. There are places to go all over town, wherever you live, and book readings, events, farmer’s markets, and much more, but the key is to stay off of dating sites, be in good spirits and stay optimistic. If you have an approachable looking smile on your face and you remain kind and warm to strangers, you’ll meet your match when you least expect it.