The dating scene can be hard for anyone. And with all of the dating sites that are out there these days, along with the many different other ways that there are to meet people, there’s never really a big shortage of finding a first date. So assuming that you’re not the type that likes to go on a spree of serial, Los Angeles, Tinder-types of first dates which will end up leaving you nowhere, except maybe yet another first date, it’s important to put your best foot forward. You should go into every first date with a blank, clean slate, with optimism, pure intentions, and by being the best version of yourself.
Having said that, when you’re doing all of the above, and you’re giving a first date your best shot by putting effort into how you look and into how you act on a first date, there are still a few things that can enhance your chances of having a second one. That’s why I decided to create a list of 4 of the best dating tips that will be useful to anyone in the dating scene that has pure intentions, and is hoping to find something that can lead towards a meaningful relationship.
You should never go into a new situation with doubts or hangups from past experiences that didn’t go well. Past experiences can be used to your advantage or as a disadvantage. And although I don’t believe that people should dig into one another’s past, I do believe that couples can use their past experiences to their advantage. So if you’ve ever experienced a relationship or even a date for that matter where someone lacked honesty, or even if you were cheated on emotionally or physically, you can use those types of experiences to your advantage.
But when it comes to dating someone new, despite what you might’ve experienced in your past, everyone deserves to have your trust, unless they have a track record or if they’ve broken your trust before. If you’re not going to trust someone in a new situation, you’re headed for a huge downfall, because without the foundation of trust in a relationship, neither person in that situation will be happy. And it’s not only about giving your trust to the other person by having faith, trusting them, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, because you need to do your part by being honest and trustworthy yourself.
No one should have a long list of unreasonable, irrational, or unrealistic expectations. Having high and unreasonable expectations will almost always lead to a huge downfall in a relationship. If you’re expecting someone to be absolutely perfect, have no flaws, or never mess up at times, you’re expecting too much. No one is ever going to be perfect or meet every standard that you set if your bar is set too high. So come back down off of your high horse, embrace the moment, go with the flow, and just see what happens.
If anything, the only thing that you should expect in another person is for them to be normal and treat you with respect. And at that point, if you know what you want in a partner, don’t settle for less. And if you see that the other person doesn’t have those specific few qualities that you’re looking for in a mate, be cordial, be kind, say good night at the end of the date, and find someone else.
But never, and I mean never try to change them into the type of person that you might’ve been hoping for, even if they seem like they have some of the qualities that you’re looking for. We all have a best possible match in this world, and that’s why we should never settle for less than what we really want. Having said that, it’s important to remember that relationships take a certain amount of compromise and give-and-take. Don’t expect perfect, and definitely don’t expect to have everything that you want in one package.
3. Be Authentic
I can’t stress this one enough. You should never put on an act or try to come across as someone that you’re not. If someone isn’t going to love you for who you are, they’re not the right match for you. You need to be yourself, like who you are, be confident, and embrace all of your beautiful qualities, along with your flaws. And despite the fact that I say how authentic and real you should be, you should always try to avoid being that “in your face New York type of real,” and you can do that by remaining composed, dressing pristine, and acting like you care about how you look and how you act, as opposed to acting as if “this is me, so like it or leave.” It’s one thing to be authentic and confident, but it’s another thing to be “in your face,” I’m keeping it real, snobby, or arrogant.
At the end of the day, the right person is not only going to love all of your beautiful qualities and attributes, but they might even find those things about you—whether in your appearance or even those little idiosyncrasies that you or others might find annoying and view as flaws, as completely cute and beautiful. The right person for you will embrace your authentic side, love you in your natural state, and desire you to be completely comfortable and yourself at all times. Anyone that would want you to change or act as someone that you’re not, either doesn’t have pure intentions, or they’re delusionally looking for perfection. Find someone that will love you for you.
4. Go with Your Heart
Now, when I say that you should go with your heart, that doesn’t mean that you should push logic aside and be with someone that you have great chemistry with or even that you should be with someone that you’d fallen in love with, if they’re completely toxic for you. When someone is toxic, get out, and get out quick! You should never stay in a toxic relationship, despite the fact that you might’ve gone in it with your heart.
Another thing, we should always listen to our instincts during early dating. And when I say to go with your heart, there’s still a certain amount of logic that’s needed. Part of “going with your heart,” is listening to your intuition. We should always feed off of our natural instincts that we get when we’re with someone. Don’t sweep red flags aside, despite how much fire and chemistry you might feel with someone. And I’m well aware that love is the most powerful thing in the world, but just because you’re going with your heart, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t listen to your instincts when you feel that someone isn’t right for you or if you see that they have many red flags.